


tell me why my gods look like you

by alix8



Category: Original Work
Genre: A whole lot of artists, Actor - Freeform, Angst, Ballerina, Bulimia, Eating Disorders, F/M, Falling In Love, Fame, Fluff, Honestly probably not very realistic but i'm trying, Love at First Sight, M/M, Possessive Behavior, She tries to keep up with his life, She's not, Soulmates, Tags Are Hard, artist, he's famous, people are mean, pianist, pornstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 15:50:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15464826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alix8/pseuds/alix8
Summary: Their first meeting is equal parts jarring and inappropriate. Charlie was trying to man the bookshop where she works, although she wasn’t trying too hard if she’s being perfectly honest, and he runs in, nearly knocking overfourbooks trying to hide behind a shelf.But his eyes are a gorgeous shade of green so she forgives him, all things considered.***OR: He's famous, she's not, but they fall in love anyway.





	1. one.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Another work! This one's not so dramatic as my other one. It's much more pleasant and sweet, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless :)
> 
> Also - scroll to the very end to see a few mood boards I made (with casting!) in case you wanted to visualise what I see when I write this story. FEEL FREE TO COMPLETELY IGNORE THIS! You don't have to imagine the characters as these people at all, it's just how I personally see them. All original photos belong to their respective owners.
> 
> Word count: 1,361

Her mirror is dirty and the edges are definitely rusted over. Charlie scowls at her reflection. She supposes she wasn’t ugly per se. She wasn’t _ugly_ if you were into that morning after a massive night out look. If you got off of dark bags and tangled hair. If your type fits the drug addict look, with slightly bloodshot eyes and ever so slightly cracked lips. _Then_ she wouldn’t be ugly.

To her credit, her eyes are quite brightly coloured. They’re just bloodshot with dark bags because she barely gets any sleep. Her bed’s a bit too hard and flat, a spring coming out every now and then. Her hair’s a good natural blonde, but her shower’s water pressure is shit so her hair ends up being tangled and coarse. Her lips are full but she just never remembers to drink water. That one may be her own fault. But still it stands. She’s a bit of a fixer-upper, but if she had the resources, she could be very beautiful. She just doesn’t have the resources. At least that’s what she tells herself.

Her room has a very dim light, and it rarely works. It flickers often and simmers out fast. For the most part, she just leaves if off to save on her electricity bill and just sets up a couple of candles for light. Her shitty mattress sits on the ground without a bed frame, a single pillow and a homemade knit blanket (she found it on the side of the road one day and decided to keep it since she had no other bed cover but found it necessary to splurge on two cycles at the laundromat before she used it) sit on top of it. There are old chipped mugs everywhere. She’s never too bothered to wash them when she has other clean ones so she tends to have one day per week dedicated to washing all her dishes and laundry. She has some sketches and paintings her older brother, Ollie, made for her tacked onto the walls and they’re probably her favourite part of her flat. The window is hard to open and even harder to close, so she just leaves it propped open with an old shoe to avoid dealing with it. She has a single wooden chair and table that came with the apartment. Over the years, she’s etched random doodles and phrases all over them so now they look absolutely rundown. She has an old mirror hung up by the table and it looks almost Victorian. She thinks it’s haunted. But she loves her piano. Her brothers both pitched in money to get her this gorgeous wooden piano for her birthday last year and she treasures nothing more. She felt bad for only giving them both a few pairs of socks but their eyes still lit up with earnest joy and they wear the socks every day.

Her bathtub is disgusting. She tries to clean it, but it’s just old and beyond help. The edges are a bit rusted over and the drain looks vile. But it works, and she’s grown to enjoy the warm baths she can indulge in every once in a while. Her sink is small, but it’s fine. There’s a spot chipped from the first week she moved in, when she slipped and whacked her head on the edge. That was awful. She had to pay for her emergency bill _and_ a bath mat. Luckily her younger brother, Sam, helped her out with most of the hospital charges but she still thinks he should have paid for all of it. After all, it was his idea. (“I don’t _have_ to go anywhere!” “You’re bleeding and you’re seeing double.” “No I’m not, I’m fine.” “You’re being stupid.” “You’re a doctor, you take care of me!” “I’m not a doctor yet.” “Same thing.” “It’s really not.” Cue her hitting the floor and passing out.) Still, she had to live off of a can of beans per day for two weeks after. Not the good stuff either. The store-branded ones that taste like shite and seem to never have an expiration date.

She absolutely hates her apartment. She hates the people online that glorify it as an aesthetic, that think she’s part of some coming of age film. She hates this place and she doesn’t understand why rich hipsters choose to decorate their apartment to look like hers. If she had the money, she would give it up in a heartbeat.

She grabs her bag and her jacket before rushing out of her house, already ten minutes late for work. Yet, she grabs a quick coffee anyway.

She sips her coffee and scribbles away in her journal, basking in the silence of only the indie track playing in the background. People think she’s quirky but she’s just broke. She writes incessantly in her journal because, truthfully, she has one friend outside her brothers. If she didn’t write, she’d go mad. She has a stack of old ones somewhere on the floor by a corner. All different kinds of notebooks, just whatever she can get her hands on. Her current one is leather bound, expensive, and stolen.

It’s a small bookshop. Tiny, really. There are only four shelves of books and the aisles in between are the width of only two people. She’s sure the owner’s stolen all these books but she doesn’t question it. They don’t get a lot of business but they get the occasional tourist or hipster couple. The place is a piece of shit (not romantic or aesthetic in her eyes— just a hunk of nothing) but a job’s a job. It’s not the best pay but she enjoys her time alone and the fact that she doesn’t have to do much. She loves it when there’s no customers. The bookshop almost seems pleasant.

Things go as usual for a while. She hums along to the songs and continues to doodle and scribble on her notebook. That is until a man bolts into the shop. He’s clearly running away from someone and hides behind the last shelf, panting heavily. He wears a plain white shirt and black skinny jeans, a Yankees trucker hat on his head and discreet black Ray-bans over his eyes. He’s clutching his heart like it’s beating really fast and he removes his shades to reveal a gorgeous shade of green.

He doesn’t even seem to really notice her, trying to sneak glances out the door like he’s anticipating something. She’s intrigued.

“Who are you?” she asks, eyebrows furrowed suspiciously. He’s still panting heavily, still hiding behind a bookshelf in trepidation, but his eyes widen at her words. He looks at her like he can’t believe there’s someone else in the room and even looks a bit nervous but quickly regains his composure. He stays silent, assessing her features to see if she’s just messing with him, before smiling. It’s large and genuine, and he doesn’t remember the last time he could say that.

“Um... Xander. Xander McDonough.” he says, hand out politely. She ignores it and he’s not sure why it makes him grin even larger.

“What kind of name is Xander?” she asks and he shrugs, dropping his hand but not his smile.

“Short for Alexander.” he says.

“Huh.” she says, leaning back into the chair.

“What’s your name?” he asks.

She didn’t have time to answer before a large man in a tight black shirt and an earpiece pokes his head in. “Alex, we gotta go.” he says urgently. “Car’s already here.”

She cocks her head to the side, even more curious. “I thought your name’s Xander.” she says, arms crossed over her chest.

“It is. It’s what my friends and family call me.” he insists, shooting the man a quick glare. “I promise.” he adds, though he’s not sure why he does.

He follows the large man out but stops after one foot makes it out the door.

“Wait! Your name?” he asks, eyes wide and hopeful like a deer.

She just blinks at him. “We’re not friends or family.” she says simply and he’s dragged away by the man.

\--

**CASTING**

_Charlie_

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=157hi0j)

_Xander_

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2eai7mr)

_Ollie_

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=5uqm9l)

_Sam_

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=27y8qq0)

_Tatiana_

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=o0w2sy)

_Alice_

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2w24nc3)


	2. two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1,751

The next day, Charlie walks into her usual coffee shop and orders a small black coffee, the cheapest thing on the menu. She pays the lady, who secretly takes fifty cents off the price each time for her, and makes the short walk back to the bookshop.

It’s not that she doesn’t like her city. By all means, New York is absolutely beautiful. It’s constantly buzzing with energy, the history of the city is extremely interesting, and the self-made culture of each borough is compelling enough to keep you coming back. So it’s not that she doesn’t like it, it’s just that she doesn’t like her area in particular. Queens is lovely, really, but compared to Sam’s place in Brooklyn and Ollie’s apartment in Manhattan... well, Queens looks like a shit town.

She arrives at the bookshop and doesn’t rush to open up. She finishes half the cup of coffee before she even turns the sign to let the world know they’re open for business. She settles back down onto her seat behind the counter and props her feet up onto the seat, curling to her side comfortably with her cup in her hand. Times like this are when she feels satisfied with her life, but it never lasts long.

Within five minutes, the door swings open. She lazily looks up and is surprised to see the boy from yesterday. He’s wearing a similar outfit, looking like he’s trying desperately not to catch anyone’s attention. She thinks he’s got an aura that would turn heads instantly, so he’s kind of failing, in her opinion. She squints her eyes at him and finishes her drink. “You.” she says, settling her drink down and standing up, leaning against the wooden desk.

“Me.” he says with a goofy smile. He takes off his shades ( _those damn green eyes_ , she thinks) and hangs it down on his shirt before removing his hat and running his fingers through his dark hair nervously. “Um... I’m sorry, is this weird?” he asks after a moment of silence.

“No.” she says simply. She makes him nervous, sweaty-hands-pacing-feet nervous, but he can’t stop smiling anyway. “Are you looking for a book?” she asks.

He shakes his head, absolutely thrilled that his gut instinct is leaning towards being right and she really didn’t recognise him yesterday. Sometimes people pretend to gain his trust, so he’s been hesitant, but he really feels like he’s right this time. He’s been thinking about it all night. “No... but your name would be nice.” he says with a shy, lopsided smile. His cheeks are dusted with a slight light pink.

She cracks a smile and he feels like he’s won the lottery. “Charlie.” she says.

“Charlie...” he repeats to himself, the name already feeling oh so familiar on his tongue. “I’m Xan—,” he begins but she cute him off.

“Xander McDonough. I remember.” she says and his heart leaps out of his chest. His head feels impossibly lighter. “But I’m not sure if you’re lying. That guy called you Alex.” she says, cocking her head to the side.

He looks much more nervous then. “Oh. Right. Um, no, I wasn’t lying.” he says quickly, shaky hands playing with the rim of his hat.

She considers it for a moment. “Good. I hate liars.” she says. “My brothers say I’m too honest for my own good.”

He absolutely detests liars too, but he’s surrounded by them constantly. Social climbers and fake friends. He can’t deal with it. Honestly, he never signed up for that. “I like that.” he says and she smiles wider. He feels like he’s soaring.

“Who were you running from then?” she asks.

He gulps but the lump in his throat doesn’t go away. He’s not gonna lie but he feels like he should’ve thought of a better strategy to tell her the truth instead of just barging into her work. He suddenly feels like a pathetic, creepy stalker. “Um... just some girls.” he mumbles, blushing a dark crimson red. She cocks her head in curiosity, urging him to keep going with raised brows. “I, uh, I act a bit, I s’pose.” he says.

Then she gets it. “Oh. So you’re famous then.” she says not asks, blinking at him. He nods slowly, unsurely. He’s not sure if he’s completely blown it and he’s _this_ close to running out the shop in embarrassment. She probably thinks he’s absolutely full of himself. “Hmm. Is that why you have two names?” she asks and he nods once.

“Like I said, Xander’s what my friends and family call me. It’s my childhood nickname. My screen name is Alex. That’s the name everyone else calls me.” he says, voice shrinking with each word. He can’t meet her eyes, opting instead to look at the ground.

“Huh.” she says, taking an impossibly long sip of coffee.

“You... you really don’t know me?” he asks, voice hopeful. “B-because I’ve been in places where people pretend... to, you know, get close and yeah...” he rambles in a low tone.

She just giggles and the sound snaps his attention back to her. It helps defuse the tension. Well, his tension. She looks utterly relaxed. He doesn’t think she’s fazed by anything.

She digs into her pocket and shows him her phone. He smiles comically wide, forgetting about his nervousness altogether. It’s a small, all matte black flip phone. It’s got all the basic functions and nothing else. She likes the camera though. Her last phone didn’t have one. “Samsung Gusto 2.” she says. “You think I’m caught up on celebrity gossip and blockbuster hits?” she asks with a raised brow. He laughs loudly, grabbing his gut in delight. She smiles at the sound. She would never admit it but it warms her up a bit inside.

She sets the phone aside. “So, what are you doing back here?” she asks.

He goes back to looking nervous, but he smiles nonetheless. “Since we’re being honest...” he starts, trying to muster up all the faux-confidence he can. “I can’t stop thinking of you. I think you’re absolutely beautiful.” he says, blushing brighter with each word.

Her eyes bright up like she hasn’t ever heard words like that in her life. He can’t believe that. But it’s true. Nobody’s ever really been interested in her, other than a casual fuck. She’s never exactly minded, doesn’t really care all too much anyway, but this is still a pleasant and welcome change. 

She’s unsure how this has all happened. He’s some big movie star and she’s just some random girl from Queens. It doesn’t make sense, things like this don’t just happen. Yet here they are.

“And I know it sounds creepy, I do, but I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try to get your name.” he says.

She smiles cheekily. “Well you’ve got it. Now what?” she asks. He bites his lip to stop himself from splitting his face in half with the sweetest and dorkiest grin she’s ever seen. His real smile. Not his practiced and polished Hollywood smile.

“Your number would be nice.” he says.

She takes her now empty cup of coffee and a nearby Sharpie. She writes down her number and signs it with ‘ _Smell ya later! xx_ ’ over her name written by the barista. She hands it over to him and he’s so charmed by it all he could scream.

He takes out his shiny phone, the latest iPhone model, and inputs the number. He calls it and is utterly relieved when her phone rings. He was nervous for a moment that she had given him a fake number as a subtle way to tell him to fuck off. Then again, he doesn’t think she’s a subtle person. She doesn’t rush to save his number like he does to hers. She’s only got the numbers of her family inputted anyway, so it’s not like it’ll get lost in her phone. She’s sure it’s the complete opposite for him.

As he’s typing away at his phone, and secretly taking a photo of the coffee cup ( _it’s just so endearing! how could you not document it?_ , he thinks), the door opens with a bell jingle. He goes into panic mode, suddenly hyper-aware. His head whips to the door, bracing himself for trouble, but slightly calms down when he sees an old woman walk through. She laughs at his reaction.

“Don’t think you’ll find anyone will know you here.” she says, resting her chin on her hand.

He doesn’t look completely sold but he chuckles anyway. “Well, actually,—“ he starts but is cut off by a small tap on his shoulder. He turns around and the old lady is smiling kindly up at him.

“Hi, my granddaughter’s your biggest fan. Would it be okay if you signed this for her?” she asks in a meek tone, handing over a book she picked up off the shelf. It’s one of the novels that he starred in in the film adaptation. It did fantastic at the box office and he won a bunch of prestigious awards for it. He turns slightly back to Charlie to give her a pointed look before turning back to the old lady, his Hollywood charm in full effect.

“Yeah, of course.” he says like he has a say in the matter. He flips to the first page and picks up the Sharpie Charlie used to write down her number. “What’s her name?” he asks. It’s routine, but he doesn’t let it show. Because then the tabloids will splatter his name across their headlines the next day in bold, unforgiving letters saying he’s a disrespectful diva and he’s mean to sweet old grandmas. His publicist would yell at him, his agent would shake his head in disappointment, and his manager would try to calm everyone down. He just doesn’t need that, frankly.

“Maria.” she says.

He signs it with _to Maria, with love_ and then scribbles his perfectly methodical autograph. He hands it back to her with a smile.

Charlie watches curiously. If old ladies that go to the bookshop know him, then he must be a big deal. Probably an A-lister or summat.

“You better buy that book now. Don’t wanna have to call the cops for defacing public property or something.” Charlie says with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. The old lady laughs and nods, pulling out her wallet from her purse, and Xander is delighted.


	3. three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long one!
> 
> I hope someone's enjoying this story! I'm having lots of fun writing it :)
> 
> Word count: 2,478

She opens up the old MacBook she barely uses. It used to be Sam’s until he upgraded to the later model. It’s slow but it works, just like the building’s wifi. She thinks it could be much worse even when the cursor’s hanging for the second time since turning the computer on.

When it finally responds, she goes to Safari and types in the name ‘alex mcdonough’. She goes to the kitchen area and starts filling up a mug with instant coffee. She’s still a bit skeptical that he’s oh so famous because if he is, then this must be some cruel prank. Guys like him aren’t interested in girls like her.

When her coffee’s ready, she walks back to the table and the page has loaded. And there he is. Ton of photos of him but none with his goofy smile, just a pristinely symmetrical smile or the odd sexy smirk. She smiles slightly at the thought of knowing his real grin. There are some photos of him, all old, with a couple gorgeous girls under his arm. She feels a pang of insecurity strike her chest that she’ll never look like those fellow A-listers he calls ex-girlfriends, but shrugs it away as best as she can.

Turns out, he’s only a year older than he is at twenty-six but he’s definitely got her beat on achievements. He’s the youngest man to ever win an Academy Award, winning his first one at twenty years old for Best Actor in a Lead Role. He’s won three since (one Best Supporting Actor and two more lead ones), tons of different photos of him over the years with gleaming teary eyes as he holds up the Oscar in different suits but all very expensive looking. Even then, his smile looks a bit too polished.

On top of all of that, he’s won a countless amount of other awards. Emmys, SAG awards, Golden Globes, and a ton more of titles she’s not familiar with.

He’s known for having extremely intense fans, a bunch of stories and videos of him being mobbed and stalked. There was even one article about a crazed fan caught on his security footage that broke into his LA home, wore his clothes, then masturbated in his bed. Charlie cringed in disturbance before quickly clicking away.

It all explains him running into the bookshop like his life depended on it. She’s a bit worried that the granddaughter will talk about her grandma seeing him in the bookshop and it’ll become a popular spot for teenage girls, waiting for him to return. She hopes not. They’ll burst her peaceful bubble.

Before she could click on the link that details his life story and how he got into the business and all that, she shuts the laptop. She feels creepy. She doesn’t want to know all the details of his life when he doesn’t know anything about her. Doesn’t want to find out about it through the internet. That freaks her out too much.

She picks up her phone and sees she’s missed three texts from Xander.

**from: xander mcdonalds**  
do you wanna grab breakfast tomorrow? :)

**from: xander mcdonalds**  
i mean if you’re free!!

**from: xander mcdonalds**  
and if you want to

**to: xander mcdonalds**

only if ure paying !

She worries that she looks like a gold digger. She doesn’t want him to think she’s gonna treat him any differently since she now knows he’s a big shot star. But, honestly, she’s broke. If he doesn’t pay, she can’t go. She doesn’t have free money to spend on eating out. Most of her food budget goes into canned beans and suspicious non-branded loaves of bread and cereal. She mostly eats cereal. People, especially her best friend Tatiana, adore her physique and thinks she’s fashionably skinny but it’s just because she doesn’t have the money to eat like a king. If she did, she would definitely be feasting 24/7. You should see the amount she eats when either one of her brothers is paying. She has no bank account and $90 under her mattress, and she’s sure she saw his net worth is upwards of $45 million.

Before she can give it a second thought, he replies.

**from: xander mcdonalds**  
what kind of man would i be if i didn’t pay for the first date? x

And okay. She nearly drops her phone to the ground. She doesn’t remember the last time her heart fluttered like this.

**to: xander mcdonalds**

:)

**to: xander mcdonalds**

where do u wanna meet ?

It turns out, his idea of breakfast isn’t a shabby little corner cafe where there are only five things on the menu. It’s a swanky five-star restaurant at the upper west side.

When she caught the train from 21st St. Queensbridge, she felt pretty good about her choices. A large oversized red hoodie that landed mid-thigh that she got from a thrift store with her hair up in a bun. Yeah, there are a few tiny holes on her hoodie and the edges of her sleeves are frayed a bit, but she thought it looked fine. Anyways, all the new Kanye West stuff looked much more distressed than her hoodie, and people are queueing for days for his stuff. And sure, she just put her hair up because she didn’t feel like combing through the mess that is her hair, which she knows will just make it worse in time. But it doesn’t look too bad, she doesn’t think. She’s definitely seen models with their hairs up just like hers and people call them beautiful. She kind of regrets not wearing make-up but she overslept and was going to be late if she bothered. But nonetheless, she feels very out of place when she steps out of the 34th Street Hudson Yards. Everyone around her, and especially in the restaurant, is dressed pristinely, looking much too good for nine in the morning.

She shies away slightly from the maître d’ when she gives her a snide look with her nose turned up. “Hi... um...” she starts but is cut off.

“We don’t take walk-ins.” the lady says with an air of professionalism over the passive aggression. “Make a reservation and come again.”

The door opens behind her and the lady straightens up, her eyes suddenly kind and her smile welcoming. Charlie turns around and sees Xander walking through in a simple blue jumper and dark blue jeans. He removes his shades and smiles warmly. “Mr. McDonough.” the maître d’ says happily.

He doesn’t notice her, too focused on Charlie. “Wow, you look great.” he says earnestly, walking up to her. She blushes and thanks him quietly as the lady brings them to their table.

“That lady’s awful.” Charlie says as soon as she leaves. “She’s so rude.”

Xander cocks his head to the side, concern written on his face. “Really?” he asks with a small pout. She wants to kiss it away. “I thought this place has really good eggs and amazing service... I’m sorry, do you wanna leave?”

She shakes her head. Of course, _he_ always got great service here. “It’s okay, no biggie.” she says with a smile and a shrug.

He thinks it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

They open up their menus and Charlie’s eyes nearly fall out of the sockets at the prices. _How much_ for a chocolate muffin?!

Xander looks at her gently and leans forward. “Hey, don’t worry about it, okay? I got it.” he says quietly and reassuringly.

She still looks unsure but nods slowly anyway. _This is probably nothing to him_ , she thinks. _He could order the entire menu three times and wouldn’t blink an eye. Probably wouldn’t even look at the number before handing over his credit card. He’s used to this._

She ends up ordering the cheapest thing on the menu, and he gave her a pointed look, but she just looked away from his gaze innocently.

The waitress leaves with their orders and she whips out her cellphone before he could talk about it. “Does he look familiar to you?” she asks, pulling out a photo of Sam. It’s obviously not the best photo due to the bad quality of her mobile but you can clearly see him smiling with his thumbs up behind a giant stack of waffles.

Xander looks at it with a confused expression and shakes his head.

“No. Why?” he asks. She sighs in relief.

“He’s my brother. I don’t think I could like a guy that’s seen my lil bro naked.” she says, shuddering in exaggeration.

His eyes widen for more reasons than one. “You like me?” he asks with a big dopey smile on his face. She scowls at him.

“Well I’m here, aren’t I?” she asks like the answer is obvious.

He just keeps grinning at her, wide and goofy, and she eventually smiles back.

“Wait... naked?” he asks in confusion. She laughs loudly, hand coming up to cover her lips in a sad attempt to muffle the noise. No such luck.

“Yeah. He’s like a really famous porn star. It would be weird if you had seen him before.” she says with a giggle. He blushes slightly and doesn’t even try to hide it.

The waitress places down their orders. A croissant with strawberry jam and a black coffee for her, an eggs benedict and an iced americano for him.

“Is that really how you screen people into your life?” he asks as he picks up his cutlery and she nods. You’d be surprised how many people watch Sam’s videos on the daily. She finds it much harder to meet someone who doesn’t know him than someone who does. He considers it for a second and then nods in consideration. “Good thing then.” he says and her smile grows, nearly matching his. _Nearly._

“He’s studying premed.” she says, reaching over to poke his dimple because _it’s just asking for it_. He blushes again and can’t contain his smile as he bites into his food.

“That’s really cool. Is he your only brother?” he asks and she shakes her head.

“I have an older brother, Ollie. He works at MOMA. Preserves paintings and shit.” she says with a shrug. _Paintings conservator_ is Ollie’s official job title and it’s a difficult task that required him a graduate degree. Good thing it pays well.

Xander looks nothing short of impressed. “Wow, that’s insane... never thought I’d know someone like that. He must be crazy smart.” he says and she nods.

“He is. But you don’t know him yet, so, technically, you still don’t.” she teases, sticking her tongue out at him in good nature. He rolls his eyes but they shine with fondness as he laughs and mockingly pushes her aside.

“So you’re not on social media, you don’t watch movies...” he says and she nods as she spreads some jam onto her food. “What do you like to do in your free time?” he asks, taking a sip of his coffee.

She beams up at him. Nobody asks her that. Nobody really tries to get to know her. “I write music. Compose.” she says. His eyes brighten.

“You’re a musician?” he asks excitedly.

She nods. “I graduated from Juilliard for piano.” she says with a large smile on her lips.

He laughs in delight. “That’s amazing!” he exclaims. Her head spins as his fingers shift so they touch hers ever so slightly, moving shyly. She impatiently pushes her hand further in so he’s fully resting his hand on top of hers. He looks down at it and smiles.

“What about you?” she asks like she didn’t just send his heart into overdrive. “Aside from the acting, I mean.” she adds.

He takes a while to think about it. “That’s a good question. I don’t have a lot of free time, honestly. But I cook.” he says shyly and she smiles wide. At her reaction, he breathes a sigh of relief and gains the confidence to keep going. “I was actually ‘discovered’ at one of those open markets where you cook their food in front of them. I was making this guy some pasta and turns out he’s an agent. Asked if I was an actor and I told him I did a bit of theatre, I was still in high school at the time, but I didn’t do it seriously. Then he gave me his contact card and yeah, it went from there. But before that, I wanted to be a chef.” he says.

“That’s brilliant! You’ll have to cook for me sometime.” she says and he blushes but nods enthusiastically.

“I’d love that.” he almost whispers.

The restaurant starts to get busier and more people start to pack in. She starts to feel uneasy as it does. He looks completely relaxed as he eats but she can definitely feel people staring and she even swears she heard a camera’s shutter click.

“Ignore them.” he tells her, reading her thoughts completely, and continues eating his food.

“Um... people are looking.” she says, uneasy with all the attention. She knows they’re whispering about her. Some random unknown girl with this famous guy.

“Yeah, that’s all it will be though. People have too much pride here to ask for a photo. That’s why I like eating here.” he says with a shrug. “Anyways, enough of them. Is that your dream job then? Pianist?” he asks and she shakes her head.

She responds without a second thought. “Pirate.” she says.

He cracks up, but the look on her face lets him know that she’s not kidding. “Pirate? Really?” he asks with a raised brow. She nods. “You’re not worried about... I dunno, scurvy?” he asks.

She shrugs. “Not particularly.”

“Are you a good swimmer?” he asks. She shakes her head.

“I can’t swim.” she says as she bites into her croissant. He smiles wider.

“But... you want to be a pirate?” he asks and she giggles.

“Why do I need to know how to swim? I have a ship.” she says.

“And if the ship goes down?” he asks.

“Then so do I.” she says with a casualty that makes him blink in a stunned silence. “A captain never abandons her ship.”

“So you’re the captain now?” he teases and she smiles with her tongue between her teeth.

“Obviously.” she says. “So this acting thing... is that your dream job?” she asks.

He considers it for a moment. “Yeah, I think so. It’s kind of hard to dream of another job when this one treats you so well.” he says with a laugh. “But it’s a lot of fun. I get to meet and work with a lot of cool people. A whole lot more of shitty people but I think that’s just adulthood.” he says and she giggles.


	4. four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2,606

Charlie’s phone rings incessantly, causing her to bolt awake. She must have fallen asleep while writing in her journal since it was suddenly dark all around her.

She blindly looks for her phone and answers it without looking at the screen.

“Hello?” she asks, voice thick with sleep.

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew Alex McDonough?!” a familiar girl’s voice comes from the other line.

Charlie considers Tatiana to be her best friend. They met in Juilliard when Charlie was having a smoke break on the steps into the building and she asked for one as well. She majored in ballet and the pressure kept her craving cigarettes every hour like clockwork. She graduated top of her class, despite all the sabotage attempts by the other dancers.

Tatiana is a free spirit, but she’s only that way because she’s rich and can rely on her parents’ money to travel all around the world and skinny dip in hidden waterfalls. Charlie loves her nonetheless.

It took a second for Charlie to process that she meant Xander. “I mean... I didn’t think it was a big deal? And anyway, it was super recent.” Charlie says, scratching her head. “How did you know anyway?” she asks.

“It’s online! It’s everywhere.” Tatiana exclaims. “How did you meet him?!”

“He was running from crazy fans and hid in the bookshop... wait, online?” she asks, confused. Her eyes are still adjusting to the newfound darkness.

“Yes! They’re calling you a mystery girl.” Tatiana says. “I mean you’re totally off the grid so I doubt they’ll ever know who you are but still. This is big.”

“Is it?” she asks with a yawn, rubbing her eyes.

“The internet sure thinks so. Just Google it. I gotta go to rehearsals. You’re coming on Saturday right?” she asks.

Tatiana was recruited by the New York City Ballet straight after graduation, having been so incredibly impressed by her showcase. She’s been with them ever since. She was the youngest soloist in the history of the company and quickly climbed up in the ranks. She’s currently the company’s principal dancer and is playing Odette in this season’s production of Swan Lake, opening this incoming Saturday.

“Yes, of course.” she says without hesitation.

“I’ll get you another ticket so you can bring Alex.” she says suggestively.

Charlie laughs. “Sounds good. Have a good rehearsal and don’t forget to eat afterwards.” she says before hanging up.

Charlie groans as she stretches out her back and walks over to her table, booting up the old laptop.

She quickly types in his name and a whole bunch of articles on gossip websites pop up. She clicks the first one she sees entitled ‘ _ALEX MCDONOUGH OUT ON A DATE WITH MYSTERY GIRL?!_ ’. She cringes as she sees photos of the two of them eating, none of them particularly good enough to fully see her face. They were mostly on him but you’d know it was her if you knew her.

She scrolls through the article, appalled.

_Alex McDonough is seen out and about Manhattan with an unknown mystery girl, grabbing what seems to be a breakfast date. His tweet below afterwards shows him quite smitten with this girl:_

**@alexmcd92**

__

Breakfast with the most amazing view x

_Although there was no photo attached, it’s pretty obvious it’s about her._

_Eye witnesses say they were sweet and kept holding hands over the table. But not everyone is so convinced._

_The waitress who served them said that she “wasn’t the prettiest girl [she’s] seen him with” and that “Serena looks better with him”._

_Serena Rose, fellow Hollywood A-Lister, broke it off with McDonough last March after a year-long relationship. The two met filming ‘Time Again’, where they played an on-screen couple, and fans loved them together instantly. Though it doesn’t seem to be the same reaction this time around. Check out these tweets from his fans!_

**@godlyalex**

__

ummmm sorry but that girl isnt even pretty lmao shes wasting her time

__

**@lisaperry552**

__

who tf is she ?? hes much too good for her whats with her hair and honestly what is she even wearing ? trash much ?

__

**@heartsmcdonough**

__

ALEX WITH A NEW GIRL ?! NOOOO MY SERELEX HEART CANT TAKE THISS he needs to get back together with serena asap :(

__

**@alwaysserelex**

__

lol lets find out who she is and cut her

__

Charlie slams her computer shut after that. She wouldn’t say she’s the most insecure person in the world but that article made her want to vomit and cry simultaneously.

Her hands are shaking as she picks up her phone, about to call either Ollie or Sam for comfort, but sees a missed call from Xander and a flood of new messages.

 **from: xander mcdonalds**  
please don’t read the articles

 **from: xander mcdonalds**  
i’m sorry they’re saying those awful (AND UNTRUE) things about you... they’re idiots and they’re just jealous

 **from: xander mcdonalds**  
please believe me

 **from: xander mcdonalds**  
i’m so sorry this is all my fault... i didn’t know they would react like that. they’re normally nicer about things like this...

 **from: xander mcdonalds**  
i really didn’t know i’m so sorry

 **from: xander mcdonalds**  
i understand if you never want to see me again

 **from: xander mcdonalds**  
but please let me know if you’re okay

She feels guilt pool in her stomach. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, you had to fall asleep and now he’s fucking worried_ , she thinks angrily.

**to: xander mcdonalds**

im sorry i napped its ok i promise ! not ur fault :) id love to see u again

**to: xander mcdonalds**

r u free saturday ?

The reply is instantaneous.

 **from: xander mcdonalds**  
for you, always.

☜☯☞

Ollie and Charlie sit outside the cafe, food and coffee scattered in front of them. The sun’s shining bright above and the streets aren’t too busy. Sam runs to their table, panting. His curls are slightly damp from a shower and he looks exhausted.

“Sorry I’m late.” he says, catching his breath and sitting down on the free chair. “Thanks for ordering.” he says, quickly biting into a muffin and slumping down onto his chair.

“Where’d you come from?” Ollie asks.

“I had a bio exam, then a chem lab, _then_ I had to film _two_ scenes.” he says, running a hand through his drying hair. “Fucking tired.” he grumbles.

“How’s school?” Ollie asks.

“Good.” he says between bites, a few crumbs falling out. “Still top of my class, still 4.0 GPA.” he says casually, swallowing the food dry.

“How’s work?” Charlie asks.

He shrugs. “Work is work.” he says. “They wanna rebrand me, I think. I’ve been doing a lot of like teacher-student, coach-player stuff, y’know with older girls and guys and stuff. But with the whole Fifty Shades thing, I think they wanna make me more dominant. Which, like, I don’t mind because they’re saying I’m probably gonna get paid more since it’ll make me more in demand.” he says.

They both nod in understanding. “You’re like skinny though. Are they gonna make you bulk up?” Ollie asks curiously.

Sam shrugs again. “Maybe. But I can be really dominating. I did that one film where this girl kept calling me sir and it did really well. I’m not too worried.” he says.

“Wait... what happened with Tricia?” Charlie asks, cocking her head to the side and sipping her drink.

“Oh yeah, she was nice.” Ollie adds with a grin. Sam looks visibly upset and his shoulders deflate slightly.

“I mean, what always happens. Things were going perfect, I liked her loads, and on the tenth date, I told her what I did and she freaked. Haven’t seen her since.” Sam says, voice sounding detached. He’s said these exact words countless times in the past.

They look at him sympathetically and he takes a large bite off his croissant to avoid looking at them. They don’t fill the silence like he would have liked so he swallows the large lump of food before speaking. “Enough about me.” he insists. “What’s up with you, Charles? I’ve seen the news... since when did you start shacking up with a famous dude?” he asks with a raised brow.

Ollie snaps his fingers and points at Charlie, like he meant to mention it earlier but it completely slipped his mind.

“I loved him in _The Trenches_. Didn’t he win an Oscar for that one? Brilliant.” Ollie says with a smile. “Great depiction of world war one.”

She blushes brightly. “It’s new.” she says quietly. “He’s really nice.” she says.

Sam looks suspicious. “I dunno... I heard some stuff about him. Like I’ve seen photos of him clubbing with random girls. Don’t like him.” Sam says protectively. “Not good enough for you.”

“Hey, c’mon now. We should give him a chance! Can’t always believe the tabloids, Sammie.” Ollie says with a shrug. “When was the last time Charlie had a boyfriend? High school?” he points out.

“Sounds about right.” Charlie says with a snort. “And he’s not my boyfriend!” she adds quickly.

“Yet.” her brothers say simultaneously, Ollie with excitedly and Sam with distaste.

“I’m not convinced.” Sam says, shaking his head and taking out a box of cigarettes from his pocket.

They all have a bad smoking problem. Sam started it in high school when he was dating some punk girl. Ollie had warned him not to start and that the girl’s bad for him, but Sam didn’t listen. A year later, Charlie stole some from Sam to deal with Juilliard and the many pressures that came with it. It only got worse when she had less money to spend on food after she graduated. Ollie had scolded her, telling her it wasn’t healthy. But eventually, Ollie picked one up himself when he had a particularly large painting that kept him in the museum until early in the morning for months on end.

Sam’s just about to light the one between his teeth when a girl screams from behind him.

“Oh my god, Chris Max?!” the girl exclaims. Sam rolls his eyes with a tired huff before dropping the cigarette onto the table and turning to face her with his signature sexy smirk. Charlie can’t help but think that it was all pretty similar to Xander.

“Hi there, love.” he says, standing up.

Charlie steals the stolen cigarette and lights it herself. She can’t afford the good brands like Ollie and Sam, so she mooches off them as often as she can. It all balances out in the end though, as both her brothers are always losing their lighters and end up stealing hers. She finds herself buying a new one each week.

“Can I get a photo?” the girl asks, very obviously jutting her chest out. Ollie and Charlie share amused smiles, trying not to laugh loudly.

“Of course, babe.” he says. He goes next to her to take the selfie but she turns to face him.

“Can you grab my tit?” she asks. Ollie lets out a quiet chuckle then, unable to keep it in, and Charlie discreetly hits his arm, though she’s biting her lip trying not to burst out laughing herself.

“Yeah, babe.” he says, completely unfazed and even winks at her. She absolutely melts under his gaze. He does as she asks and she snaps a photo of them and then another one with her kissing his cheek.

“I heard your hands are amazing... they’re so big.” she says, looking at his hands in a trance-like daze.

He chuckles, still keeping the cool and sexy facade. “They’ve been known to do some wonderful things.” he says.

“Is it true you’re French? Can you speak French?” she asks and he nods. “Can I record you saying ‘be a good girl and I’ll fuck you hard, otherwise I’m gonna have to punish you’?” she asks shamelessly.

She points her camera at him, already recording. “ _Être une bonne fille et je vais te baiser dur, sinon je vais devoir te punir._ ” he says huskily and fluidly, giving the camera a wink at the end.

She swoons out loud. She bends over their table, making Ollie jump in shock and Charlie protectively move her waffle away from the stranger. “Here’s my number. Give me a call.” she says, taking a pen out and scribbling it on a piece of tissue on the table, pushing her ass out towards him.

“Will do, babe.” Sam says, though he plans on just throwing it away later.

She looks up happily and makes eye contact with Charlie. Her face contorts to confusion then. “Aren’t you that girl with Alex McDonough?” she asks.

Charlie just shakes her head. “Nope.” she lies easily. “Dunno who that is.”

The girl looks unconvinced but walks away anyway, leaving by grabbing Sam’s crotch and giving it a quick squeeze.

When she’s gone completely, Sam sits back down, annoyed. He crumples the paper that has her number and a lipstick kiss mark on it. “Fucking hell, you’d think I was a sex toy.” he grumbles angrily.

“She was awful.” Ollie agrees.

“Why is it that the only girls that are interested in me are crazy sex maniacs?!” he wonders, ruffling his hair grumpily.

The two converse back and forth but Charlie just feels nervous. She doesn’t like random strangers noticing her and asking questions. She doesn’t like the attention. She’s anxious that there’s somehow gonna be another article about her and she’d much rather stay out of it.

“Anyways, when are you seeing him next?” Ollie asks her, nudging her slightly to bring her back to reality.

“Mr. Superstar,” Sam says mockingly, eyes rolling and lighting a new cigarette. He mutters something about how it isn’t hard to get an award for acting, he has one himself, thank you very much.

“Um... next Saturday, I think. We’re catching Tatiana’s show.” she says.

Ollie shifts uncomfortably. “Oh.” he says, somewhat sadly. “She didn’t invite me.”

Ollie and Tatiana dated their junior year at Juilliard when Charlie brought her to Sam’s birthday celebration. Ollie had just finished his masters degree at Harvard and finally moved back to New York to be with his siblings again. The pair instantly clicked and was attached by the hip the whole night, making heart eyes at each other. They were together for two and a half years. Then Tatiana’s career kicked off and Ollie got promoted at MOMA and they stopped finding time for each other. The break up was messy and heartbreaking, and neither of them really wanted it to happen, but all the fighting was putting a real strain on their relationship. They haven’t really seen each other since. They’re still very much in love with each other, Charlie thinks.

Sam sees Ollie’s sad eyes and clears his throat. “Hey man, it’s all good. We’ve already seen Swan Lake anyway, yeah?” he says with a reassuring smile, placing a hand on his arm.

Ollie nods slowly. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Can’t be much different.” he says, but he moves desperately fast to light a cigarette anyway. Sam claps his arm.

Charlie sees him pocket the lighter absentmindedly but doesn’t move to tell him off. After all, she’s already shoved four sticks of Sam’s cigarettes into her bag.

“Exactly.” Ollie says, looking like he’s trying his hardest not to think about it any further as he takes a very large drag.

“Anyway, how’s the job? What painting are you working on now?” Charlie asks.

At this, Ollie’s eyes widen in delight, his face absolutely lighting up. Talking about art always cheers him up, even for a little bit. “It’s a brilliant renaissance painting on canvas—,” he begins excitedly, hands moving around animatedly.


	5. five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2,780

It didn’t take long for the story to come out. Of course the girl blabbed about her to some gossip website and even took a sneaky photo, much clearer than the ones from the restaurant. Because she was with Sam, they’re all wondering if she’s an up and coming porn star and the scandal of Alex McDonough dating one breaks out.

Xander calls a few minutes after the story went viral.

“I’m sorry.” he says before she could even say hello. “I hate how they’re bothering you, even when I’m not there.” he says with such an earnest whisper. It feels like they’re impossibly close to each other, intimately together despite them being across the city from each other.

“Yeah it sucks but it’s not your fault.” she says back, laying down on her bed. The sun is setting outside her window, washing the small apartment in a golden glow.

Despite the situation, she feels a sense of peace in this very moment. His voice is right by her ear and her bed doesn’t seem too cold anymore.

“I’m still sorry.” he says. A beat of silence. “Do you want me to say something about it? I could release a statement, make them back off...” he says quietly.

“I dunno... I feel like that’ll just bring more attention to it.” she says. She’s also afraid of what he would say. What would he call her? Would he call her a friend? _Are_ they just friends? She doesn’t think she would want to know the answer to that.

“You don’t believe them, do you?” he asks, impossibly quieter.

A specific tweet about her being too ugly to be a porn star comes back to mind and _who would want to fuck her?_ , making her sink her cheek further into her pillow. “No.” she lies.

“You shouldn’t.” he says like he doesn’t believe her. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” he whispers and her heart flutters.

“I think they’re just comparing me to your exes. That Serena Rose girl is someone I get compared to a lot, apparently.” she says, unable to hide the bitterness from her voice. She sighs. “What’s the deal with her anyway?” she asks unsurely. She knows she can just do a quick Google search and she’ll have the answers to all her questions but she wants to hear it from him. Plus, she doesn’t want to see the photos of the gorgeous celebrity with her perfect hair and perfect skin.

She can practically see him pouting. “Serena and I dated for a year, we met filming some movie. Everyone loved us and it seemed like the perfect relationship to the public, but it was anything but. It felt like she was always looking over her shoulder, waiting for the next best thing. So we fought a lot and she really hurt me. I broke up with her and she didn’t even bat an eyelash. She’s out of my life. I promise. The public love us but they don’t know the truth. I’m happy with you.” he says and she feels tears burning her eyes. Even if she’s all alone, she blinks them away anyway. Doesn’t let them fall.

“Okay. I’m happy with you too.” she says and he releases the breath he was holding.

“I’m glad.” he says and she can hear the relief in his voice.

“Are you excited for the ballet?” she asks just because she doesn’t want him to hang up.

He chuckles on the other end. “Yeah, I’ve been picking out my outfit.” he says. “I’ve never been to the ballet. How fancy should I look?” he asks.

“Smart shirt and a blazer kind of look. Not a full suit.” she says. She’s been to plenty of ballets before, thanks to Tatiana.

“Okay, that’s what I thought.” he says.

“You’re gonna look amazing.” she says. She can feel his blush from the other end.

“You will.” he insists and she cracks a smile. “What time do you want me to pick you up?” he asks. She scowls.

“I was thinking we could just take the subway... and I’m now realising why you can’t do that.” she says, feeling like a complete idiot. She was just used to taking the metro for everything. She slaps her palm against her forehead.

He chuckles lightly, almost embarrassed. “I’m sorry.” he says and she shakes her head.

“No, don’t be. I wasn’t thinking.” she says, groaning in her ignorance. “Um, 7?”

“Sounds perfect. Text me your address.” he says.

☜☯☞

She fiddles nervously with the hem of the only nice dress she owns. It’s navy blue and hugs her petite body perfectly. The sleeves are an intricate lace pattern and the collar dips low on her cleavage. It ends right at her fingertips and it feels expensive. She got it as a birthday present from Tatiana. She wears a beautiful pair of branded high heels that she definitely stole from Tatiana. Honestly, she owes her a lot.

Looking at the mirror, she thinks she’s done a pretty good job. Her hair’s actually combed through so her natural waves fall neatly past her shoulders and she’s done her make-up carefully as to not smudge anything accidentally. She thinks she might pass as someone who actually has her life together. Might. Her rings give her away. The colours of the jewellery that adorn her slender fingers are rusting off, leaving her fingers green and smelling like metal. She doesn’t mind all too much. They’re cheap and she likes the way it feels.

But she’s still nervous that she won’t look good enough for Xander. She probably shouldn’t have but she did an extensive Google search of Serena Rose and felt more and more shit with each click. Serena’s unbelievably gorgeous, the perfect image of an A-lister. Charlie’s not that. She’s just messy hair and dark bags and cereal for all three meals.

She huffs away from the mirror before she can talk herself out of this date.

It wasn’t long until she got a message on her phone that Xander’s downstairs, with an added message that he still wishes she let him pick her up from her door. She double checks that she’s blown out all her candles, leaving her in darkness, and triple checks that her door’s locked before bounding down the creaky stairs.

When she gets out, she sees a sleek black Mercedes, standing out from all the other vehicles within a five mile radius. He’s standing outside the door looking absolutely dashing in a navy blue blazer and a smart white shirt. He’s holding a large bouquet of red roses in his hands. He smiles as soon as he sees her.

“You look beautiful.” he says, voice hazy as if he’s in a trance. Honestly, he feels like he is.

“Thanks.” she says with a blush as he hands her the flowers. “These are gorgeous.” she says, heart soaring. She’s never received flowers from a boy before. She loves the feeling.

He opens the back door and she steps in with a shy _thank you_. He shuts it and goes around the car, sliding in next to her from the other side. She feels kind of uncomfortable, not used to having a driver bring her around, but she tries to ignore it.

“Sorry I’m a bit late, by the way. Hope I didn’t keep you waiting.” he says earnestly, almost anxiously. She glances at the clock. 7:08. He’s eight minutes late. She didn’t even notice. “It’s just I’ve never been here and neither has Mark,” he says, gesturing towards the driver dressed in a pristine suit. “So we got a bit lost.”

She’s not surprised in the slightest that he’s never been to this area before. Not even a little bit.

“My apologies, madame.” Mark says from the front and she blushes once more. She’s not used to being treated like this.

“Don’t be sorry! Please.” she insists. “It’s nothing. And please, call me Charlie.” she says, twiddling with the petals of the flowers in her hand.

Mark smiles from the front seat and gives Xander an approving smile from the mirror. Xander smiles back shyly. Mark’s been there through all the ex-girlfriends since the start of Charlie’s career and he can confidently say that they’ve all looked down at him with snide eyes and obnoxious requests.

She turns to face Xander and gives him a tiny smile. “We’re matching.” she says, pointing at his blazer. He looks down at his suit jacket and then at her dress before facing her with an amused expression.

“We do!” he giggles. He looks at her for another second before sighing once more. “You really look so beautiful. I feel like the luckiest man in the world.” he says. She blushes. “Oh! I almost forgot.” he says, leaning to the front seat and picking up another bouquet of flowers. They’re a beautiful set of pink peonies. “These are for Tatiana.” he says. “I figured we could give it to her when we see her.”

And like, her heart soars. She loves that he thought to give her best friend flowers after her show. Charlie thought to do it too but nice flowers are very expensive and she didn’t want to give her the shitty cheap ones. These flowers look like they could be displayed around the Royal Palace.

“You’re so kind.” she says so quietly. She feels like she could tear up. _How is this man even real?_

He just laughs. “Why thank you.” he says. “Also, since I’m meeting your best friend tonight, I’d love for you to meet mine.” he says, almost nervously.

She perks up in excitement. “Really?” she asks gleefully.

He nods. “Of course. Her name’s Alice Chambers. Do you know her?” he asks shyly.

Her eyes widen slightly. “Yeah, actually, I do. The owner of the bookshop likes her music and plays her every day.” she says. “Don’t know much about her but she’s a great singer.”

He hums in agreement. “She’s fantastic. Anyways, she’s been nagging my ear off wanting to meet you.” he says and then blushes slightly. “I guess I’ve been talking about you a lot.” he admits.

She giggles and pokes his dimple fondly. “My brothers could say the same.” she says and he blushes a deeper red.

The car slows down in front of the theatre. There’s a good-sized crowd outside making their way in and he starts to get a bit nervous. Charlie places a hand on her door, getting ready to open it, when Mark speaks. “Around the back, Alex? Bit crowded.” he says from the front.

“Yes please, Mark.” he says with a sigh of relief.

She looks back at him and he’s utterly bashful. “Sorry.” he says.

“It’s okay.” she tells him with a smile. She quickly takes out her phone and makes a call to Tatiana, who agrees to meet them at the back.

The car makes a full stop and he rushes to open her door for her but she beats him to it. “I’ll get it next time.” he promises and she jokingly shoves his arm.

The door swings open and Tatiana pop her head out. She’s already in full make-up and costume with a black jacket zipped up on top. Charlie’s fairly certain that it used to be Ollie’s.

“Hey, you look fantastic!” Tatiana exclaims, giving Charlie a hug.

“You look... Swan-like.” Charlie returns and Tatiana laughs good-heartedly.

“Thanks.” she replies. She glances over Charlie’s shoulder and screams internally. She doesn’t let it completely show but Xander always knows when there’s a fan moment happening. It comes with experience.

He smiles shyly at her and hands forward the bouquet. Her jaw drops but the smile persists. She steps forward and takes the flowers. “Thank you.” she says, placing a hand over her heart dramatically.

He laughs. “I’m Xander.” he introduces. She has to bite her lip to keep from screaming. She’s always been a big fan of him.

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” she says and he ducks his head with a blush, looking up at Charlie slightly and scratching the back of his head bashfully. “I’m Tatiana.”

They shake hands quickly. “Come on in then! Got you the best seats in the house.” she says. They go through the door and are relieved to see that everyone is much too busy getting ready and doing last minute stretching to even notice him.

They enter the theatre through the side wings and it’s dark enough that they don’t draw too much attention to themselves. They get to their seats in relative ease but Charlie swears she can still hear people whispering.

He feels her tension as the curtains go up so he just keeps her hand in his and squeezes it reassuringly. It works and they spend the whole show that way. Even during both intermissions when some fans asked for photos. He simply politely declined and said he was on a date and would like to be left alone. She feels like she’s on cloud nine at the special treatment, despite the piercing stares behind forced smiles the fans would send her way.

At the end of the show, they find themselves backstage once more. Xander has his Hollywood celebrity mode on as he congratulates all the dancers and happily takes photos with them.

“That really was amazing. Not a single person was seated during curtain!” Charlie tells Tatiana proudly from the sides as Xander sweeps the room.

Tatiana is sweaty and aching but she still has adrenaline coursing through her blood. “Thank you so much!” she exclaims happily.

“Xander and I are gonna grab some drinks, do you wanna come with?” she asks. It’s really more out of courtesy than anything. She knows that Tatiana doesn’t participate in any vice when it’s ballet season.

Tatiana groans in annoyance and remorse. “I wish I could.” she says. “I really wanna get to know him. He seems so nice. Not at all what I expected from a big shot celebrity.”

Charlie laughs with a nod. “Yeah, he gets that a lot apparently.” she says.

Nearby, a ballerina in the ensemble starts crying as he hugs her. “I’m such a big fan!” she exclaims, hands over her mouth.

He smiles at her and hugs her tighter. “I think I’m a bigger fan of you! What you did out there was insane! You’re really so talented.” he says and she cries even harder.

They try to sneak out back once more but the fans, having known he’s there, were already waiting excitedly for him to come back out. As soon as they open the back door, laughing and smiling at each other, they’re met with screams and a thousand blinding flashes.

Charlie instantly clutched onto him for dear life and he pulls her closer, letting her bury her face in his side. Thankfully Mark had anticipated this and is right there to manoeuvre fans away and create a clear path for them to get to the car. Fans scream and ask for photos, pulling his arm and hair to get his attention. He winces in pain but pushes through because he can’t slow down. Not when Charlie’s terrified underneath his arm.

They finally make it to the car and he lets her in first. She scrambles inside and he follows quickly behind. Soon, all they hear is the muffled screams. Mark gets into the driver’s seat and they drive as fast as they can without hurting the many girls crowding the front of the car like it’s not a moving vehicle.

“I’m so sorry.” Xander says miserably, pulling her into a tight embrace. She’s shaking slightly so he tightens the hug. “I’m so sorry.” he repeats.

“You say sorry too much.” she says somewhat quietly.

He chuckles and kisses the top of her head. “It’s just that... you didn’t sign up for any of this craziness.” he says, pulling away but keeping their hands entwined. “Should have brought Ty along.” he says with a regrettable huff.

“Who’s Ty?” she asks.

“My main bodyguard.” he says. “I just thought it would draw even more attention so I insisted he didn’t come.” he admits shyly. “I keep fucking up.”

She wants to shake sense into him.

“You’re being ridiculous. It’s not your fault, okay? I can handle it. It’ll take some getting used to but I have thick skin.” she says, reassuringly rubbing the pad of her thumb gently across his sharp cheekbone. “I promise. It’s fine.” she says.

He smiles and takes her hand from his hand and giving it a gentle kiss.


	6. six.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some French spoken here, so scroll down to the bottom notes for the translations. :)
> 
> Word count: 2,050

When they arrive at his apartment, taking some special elevator that takes them to the penthouse, she has to stop herself from choking on air. The space is massive and very open. It’s modern and most of the decor are either transparent, angled, or black and white. The L-shaped sofa is large and black and looks absolutely comfortable as it sits in front of the biggest television screen she’s ever seen. The wall by the living room is made of glass, giving an amazing panoramic view of New York City. The kitchen is fully equipped with a bar, a more formal table setting, and a large island in the centre. He has some of his movie posters, signed by cast and crew, framed and displayed throughout his walls. Various awards litter the shelves, proudly displayed. The four Oscars he’s won so far are split evenly by twos on either side of the television.

“Wow.” she says, completely entranced. She steps into the apartment and slowly walks around, kind of too scared to touch anything.

“Thanks.” he says shyly, walking to the kitchen. “How does wine sound?” he asks.

☾ 

Wine sounded much too good. Two bottles in and working on a third, the pair were giggling and melting into each other with each accidental touch. And okay, somewhere along the way, a few shots of tequila were downed.

They stumble into the easy darkness of his bedroom, Charlie smiling up at him.

“Hmm... _tu es si mignon. Donc tellement mignon. Je suis si content de t'avoir rencontré. Ne le dis à personne mais je me sens parfois seul et tu me rends heureux_.” she slurs with a lazy smile on her lips. She started inserting some French words halfway into the first bottle. Words became phrases, phrases became sentences... the drunker she got, the quicker she forgot English.

He looks at her fondly but cluelessly. He failed French in high school and can barely understand it sober, what more drunk?

“I don’t understand you, love.” he says with a little drunk giggle. She smiles in delight at the sound.

“ _Tu ne parles pas français? Je ne parle pas anglais!_ ” she exclaims and he laughs.

“What happened to your English babe? Are you French?!” he asks, voice getting louder with giggles.

“ _Oui! Mon nom de famille est Laurent, idiot!_ ” she exclaims, laughing and collapsing onto him. They both lose their balance and fall onto his large bed. They’re a heap of tangled limbs and warm breaths on soft skin.

They laugh until they run out of air, their faces getting closer and closer until they’re only two finger widths apart.

“ _Tu es si amusant_.” she says with a content sigh. “ _Et si beau. Je t'apprécie vraiment_.” she says quietly, almost in a whisper. He smiles although he doesn’t understand. “ _Le plus beau sourire que j'ai jamais vu_.”

“I really really really like you.” he says earnestly and the words hit her harder than the wine did.

“I really really really like you.” she replies back in a French accent and his smile widens. “All three times. _Trois_.” she adds and he chuckles. He closes the gap between them, their lips colliding sweetly. The kiss is lazy and slow, like they have all the time in the world. Lately, that’s what it’s been feeling like.

She pulls away for air and he whines at the loss of contact. She giggles and pecks his lips quickly for comfort.

☜☯☞ 

In the light of day, _maybe_ all that wine was a bad idea. The tequila was _definitely_ a bad idea. She flutters her eyes open and groans instantly at her pounding headache. She struggles to sit up, still in her tight dress, and looks around the room. It’s much more lived in than the rest of the house, she notes.

She sees Xander next to her, still passed out and snoring slightly, and still in his clothes from last night. His tie is significantly loosened around his neck and his white shirt is unbuttoned a bit but he still looks perfect. Even with all his hair stuck up a thousand ways. She quietly stands up and finds her way to a bathroom with a walk-in closet, almost tripping on his disregarded blazer on the floor. She figures he wouldn’t mind her showering... at least she hopes he doesn’t because she feels disgusting and there’s no way she’s _not_ going to test out that sweet looking shower.

She closes the door behind her and strips off her clothes. She sighs in pleasure as soon as the shower turns on. The pressure is perfect and the water is actually hot. Nothing beats a good shower. It’s not something you really notice until yours is utterly shite.

She uses his fancy shampoo _and conditioner_ — she doesn’t remember the last time she conditioned her hair— and body wash. She steps out of the shower smelling mildly like him and it pleases her to no end. She dries herself off with the towel hung by the mirror and walks over to the closet area. She opens _four_ closets and _six_ drawers until she finds his boxers. She slips one on, and it turns into shorts rather than underwear on her small frame, before grabbing a random shirt and shrugging it over her head. One side falls over her shoulder from the sheer size of it on her.

She grabs her dirty clothes from the floor and bundles it into a small ball before walking back out into the bedroom.

He’s sat on the bed, throbbing head in his hands, but smiles up the second he sees her. “Hi.” he says, unbelievably relieved that she didn’t just leave him when she woke up.

“Hi.” she says back happily, both momentarily forgetting their hangovers. “I’m sorry but I used your shower and borrowed some stuff.” she says, not sounding sorry at all. He smiles, delighted at the sight of her in his clothes. “It’s no problem. I would’ve offered it anyway.” he says. She walks over to him and sits by his side, her head spinning at the sound of his gruff morning voice.

“Do… do you remember what happened last night?” she asks carefully.

He looks at her with a bashful expression. “Yeah.” he says.

“Do you regret it?” she asks, and the conversation feels much too serious for just a slow make-out session, but neither can explain why the moment feels fragile and like it should be handled with great caution.

“Not at all.” he says quickly, reassuringly.

She smiles at him. “Perfect. Then I can do this.” she says before leaning down and kissing him. The kiss is just as slow as last night but much more energised. His heart is going crazy and his thoughts are moving at a thousand miles per second. When she pulls away, he feels drunk once more.

“Wow…” is all he manages to say.

She giggles.

“You can speak English again.” he says because no words can describe how good he feels right now. He has to settle for a change in topic.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” she says. “My dad barely spoke English so everyone spoke to him in French. I grew up here, so my siblings and I speak English fluently, but at home, it was mostly French and Danish.” she says. “Which is why when I get drunk, English is the first language I tend to forget.”

He gawks at her and it makes her blush. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“Shut up.” she whispers, trying to hide her pink cheeks. “You should shower. You stink.” she says. He laughs and agrees, swinging his legs off the bed and tentatively standing up.

As he walks towards the bathroom, he begins to strip off his shirt and she can’t help but stare at his toned back peeking from above the falling garment. Once he’s inside the bathroom and out of sight, she shakes her head to try and get herself back together.

She combs through her hair easily (she should really invest in some conditioner) and admires the view of New York from his bedroom window. She’d kill for a view like this. She doesn’t really know how long she’s been standing there but her hair’s completely combed out of knots. Her phone rings loudly, breaking her out of her reverie as she struggles to find it. After finally fishing it from the crack between his mattress and the bed frame, she answers.

“Hello?”

“Charlie! Wanna get breakfast?” Ollie asks happily.

“I think I’m busy.” she says, looking around the large bedroom. “I’ll fill you in when I see you.” she adds.

Ollie hums. “Yeah, I saw the headlines.” he says. “Fine, but I’m bringing you food to your work tomorrow. You need to eat more.” he says.

Charlie laughs. “I would _love_ to eat more. Waffles are always welcome.” she says with a beam. She turns around and sees Xander walk out of the bathroom in a pair of black sweats and nothing else, running a towel through his damp hair. Her mouth goes dry and she barely hears what Ollie’s saying.

Xander smiles at her, that goofy smile she can’t get enough of, and Charlie smiles back. “I gotta go, Ollie. I’ll talk to you later.” she says, hanging the phone up. “Hey.” she says, unable to tear her eyes off of his toned body. Perfectly sculpted muscle that makes her palms sweaty.

“Hi. What do you want for breakfast?” he asks.

She feels like she finally believes in a god. She hears angels sing and a divine glow shines behind him. She’s never seen something so perfect in her life. At least not in person. She can’t quite believe her eyes.

“I’m sorry, what did you ask me?” she asks, snapping her eyes away from his body and up at his face. He blushes brightly, though he laughs just as much.

“Breakfast.” he says, dropping the towel on the ground. “What do you want?” he asks. “I make a mean English breakfast.” he says with a proud grin.

“Sounds good.” she says with a smile. He leads her out of the bedroom and they both jump when they see a man sat by the dining table. He has a whole bunch of files in front of him and is typing quickly on his Blackberry. She hides behind him unsurely, grabbing his hip with her small hand. Goosebumps appear where she touched it, making his breath hitch slightly.

“Ricky! What are you doing here?” Xander asks.

Ricky glances at them, taking note of the blonde girl behind him, and puts his phone down on top of the files. “I’m here to talk about… her, actually.” he says, pointing at Charlie.

Xander shrugs. “Nothing to talk about.” he says defensively, and Ricky scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“Let’s try this again.” he says.

Xander whines. “Is Jeffrey mad at me?” he asks, sounding like a five-year-old. Charlie wants nothing more than to kiss him and slap whoever’s causing him distress. She rubs her hand against his skin gently, reassuringly. It calms him down. He turns around slightly to kiss the top of her head as a silent _thank you_.

“No, not really.” Ricky says. “But he needs to know what’s going on. He can’t do his job right unless he knows the deal. _You_ hired him as your publicist, let him do his job.” he says.

“I’ll talk to him later, I promise.” Xander says.

“Xander.” Ricky warns. Charlie takes note that this guy’s apparently close enough to him and his life that he doesn’t call him Alex. She relaxes a bit more at this, dropping the suspicion. Slightly.

“I will. Really.” he says.

“Fine. Are you seeing Tristan today?” he asks.

Xander shakes his head. “No… I’ll see him tomorrow, I swear.” he says quickly.

Ricky gathers his things and scoffs, walking towards the door, attention already back on his phone. “She’s really distracting you, huh?” he comments. Charlie pouts and Xander huffs.

“No. I’m on break, I can do what I want.” he says.

“Can’t get out of shape unless you want that all over the tabloids.” Ricky says and Xander deflates slightly. “Call Jeffrey.” he says firmly before closing the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tu es si mignon. Donc tellement mignon. Je suis si content de t'avoir rencontré. Ne le dis à personne mais je me sens parfois seul et tu me rends heureux.] = You are so cute. So so cute. I'm so glad to have met you. Do not tell anyone but I sometimes feel lonely and you make me happy.
> 
> [Tu ne parles pas français? Je ne parle pas anglais!] = You do not speak French? I do not speak English!
> 
> [Oui! Mon nom de famille est Laurent, idiot!] = Yes! My last name is Laurent, idiot!
> 
> [Tu es si amusant. Et si beau. Je t'apprécie vraiment. Le plus beau sourire que j'ai jamais vu.] = You are so funny. And so beautiful. I really like you. The most beautiful smile I have ever seen.
> 
> [Trois.] = three


	7. seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I really don't know how to tag this story, so it would mean a lot if you shared it around (if you like it enough to do so!)
> 
> Comments and kudos are always welcome and greatly appreciated x
> 
> Word count: 1,824

“Who was that?” Charlie asks, moving to face him.

He whines again. He really wants to keep her separate from his usual lifestyle. He wants to keep them in a protective bubble for as long as he can. Yet it feels like their bubble is deflating slowly and he has no choice but to pop it completely himself. “My manager, Evan. He’s been with me from the very start. I swear he’s normally nicer, he’s just stressed.” Xander says, taking her hand and leading her to the kitchen.

“And who’s Tristan?” she asks curiously, pushing herself up and sitting on the kitchen island. To anyone else, it might seem intrusive, but Charlie has a charm about her that makes him think she could burn his entire apartment down and he wouldn’t be mad at her.

He takes out the ingredients from the fridge and turns the stove on as he speaks.

“My personal trainer.” he says. “So like, I’m on break right now, right? Which is why I have so much free time but Jeffrey, my publicist, insists I stay in shape or else it’ll look bad when I get photographed. Kristy, my nutritionist, still sends me what I can and can’t eat every day.”

Charlie grimaces. “That sounds… awful.” she says in distaste.

“It is.” he agrees. “But they mean well. They all help me in one way or another. Career-wise, I mean.” he says. He moves fluidly around the kitchen like he knows every inch of it by heart. He looks in his element and it makes her smile.

“So there’s Evan the manager, Mark the driver, Ty the bodyguard, Jeffrey the publicist, Kristy the nutritionist, Tristan the gym trainer…” she says, fingers pushing down against her temples like it helps her think better.

He smiles back at her for a second before returning to the pan. “You have a good memory.” he says.

“They’re important to you. I wanna remember them.” she says and he bites his lip to stop himself from grinning too much. He flips the egg over to occupy himself with something else.

“There’s a few more people in my team.” he says. “Lisa does hair, Ruiz make-up— I don’t seem them that much now, though. Since I’m on break and all. But Pete’s my agent and Agnes is my PA. That’s pretty much the key people in my team.”

She nods, absorbing the information. He takes a clean plate and places the eggs and sausages down onto it. He finishes up the beans just as the bread pops out from the toaster. He places all the food on it before turning back to face her, plate in hand.

He hands it to her and her eyes light up like fireworks. The second he hands her a fork, she begins scarfing it down. She moans around the silverware and he turns away so she won’t see his blush. He feels like she’s driving him insane. Any little thing she says or does pushes him over the edge. And that _moan_.

He starts cooking up his breakfast as she continues to make obscene noises behind him. He’s ninety per cent sure that she knows what she’s doing and she’s definitely doing it on purpose. That’s definitely something she would do. _Think of old ladies, think of grandmas_ , he thinks furiously. He doesn’t want to seem like a complete horn dog and blow his chances with her out of the water. But he can’t help it when she sounds like _that_.

“This is amazing!” she exclaims. “You’re a proper amazing cook.” she says, biting into the toast.

“Thank you.” he says and is proud of himself when it doesn’t sound nearly as shaky as he feels. By the time he finishes up and brings his bowl next to her plate, she’s already finished two-thirds of her breakfast.

She glances down and grimaces. “What is _that_?” she asks, making no move to hide her disgust.

He laughs, taking a spoonful into his mouth. “It’s oatmeal.” he says.

“It looks _awful_. It’s so… bland.” she says, taking a whole bunch of beans onto her fork and shoving it into her mouth, half of it falling back down onto the plate.

“It’s not that bad. You get used to it.” he says.

She pierces the sausage and shoves it in front of his face. He chuckles, pushing the fork away slightly. “Have some.” she says, looking at him with wide doe eyes.

“I can’t, babe.” he says. His eyes widen slightly when he realised what he just said. The nickname just stumbled so naturally, he didn’t mean to. _Fuck, I probably scared her off, she thinks you’re going too fast_ , he thinks angrily. He risks looking up at her and sees she’s lowered the fork, a giant smile on her face. He lets out an audible sigh of relief before clearing his throat. “I, uh, Kristy will kill me.” he explains.

“One bite won’t kill you.” she says, lifting the fork up higher.

“If I have one bite, I’ll want to eat the whole thing. It’s easier for me to resist eating it in the first place than stop mid-way.” he says, eating more of his oatmeal. She pouts but brings the fork up to her lips anyway, taking a bite. “You have a lot of tattoos.” he says in admiration, tracing a few scattered around her thigh with his free hand. She smiles at him with a slight blush. He bites his tongue, trying not to take things too far no matter how much he wants to.

“Yeah, I do the crappy looking ones.” she says, pointing at a few stick and pokes that just look like doodles on her skin, a lot of them are on her arms where it’s easy for her to reach. “Ollie does the actual ones. You know, when he has time.” she says, pointing at the complex and stunning ones that litter most of her arms. It all fits together perfectly.

“I don’t think they’re crappy.” he says with a smile.

She beams up at him like he’s the fucking sun. “I can do one on you.” she says.

He looks tempted but just shakes his head, finishing off his oatmeal. “Pete would kill me.” he says. She doesn’t understand how an agent could have any say in what he wants to do to his body but she doesn’t really understand the whole celebrity thing anyway. “I mean, I would love to. I’ve always wanted tattoos. But… makes me less employable.” he says with a shrug.

She looks at him, upset. “That’s not fair.” she says.

“Eh, it is what it is.” he says.

“What about a small one? Stick and pokes are easier to cover up with make-up than real tattoos.” she says, jumping off from the counter and putting the empty plate in the sink. He looks at her in thought before handing his empty bowl to her. She places it carefully down on top of the plate because it’s probably more expensive than her rent.

She turns back to face him and tries not to make her attraction too obvious when she sees him leaning against the island and looking oh so effortlessly beautiful. “If you want one, you should get one.” she says. He snakes a hand around her tiny waist, pulling her in closer to him. Her heart thumps loudly against her chest. “You should, uh, always go after what you want.” she says, biting her lip nervously.

He smiles at her. “I am.” he says, leaning forward and catching her lips with his.

☾ 

“You look different.” she says, holding up the framed family photo next to his face. With a wink and her tongue between her teeth, she looks between him and the photo in concentration. “Like not that different but the glow up is _real_.” she says with a laugh.

He shrugs. “Yeah, well… new nose, new chin. Lost twenty pounds.” he says. She looks at him as she places the photo back down onto the table and he looks sad. “My agent thought it would make me more… leading man-esque. I guess he was right.”

“I like the old nose better. The chin was a good idea though.” she says, and he laughs despite himself. She leans forward and kisses his nose quickly before pulling back away. “My old photos are much worse than yours. Don’t worry about it.” she says.

He pulls her down onto the sofa so she’s practically sat on his lap, and she blushes. “I think… we need to talk about… us.” he says awkwardly. She adjusts herself so she’s facing him properly and cocks her head to the side.

“Us?” she asks.

“Yeah…” he says slowly. “I know it’s a bit early but you heard Evan. I need to talk to my publicist so… yeah.” he grumbles, losing confidence steadily.

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” she says, rubbing his arm and making him release the breath he was holding. “Well I like you. I think that’s pretty obvious.” she says.

“I like you too.” he says with a smile. “All three times.” he whispers, making her giggle and kiss him quickly.

“All three times.” she agrees.

“But… what do I tell Jeffrey?” he asks when she pulls away.

She shrugs like the answer’s obvious. “The truth. Why wouldn’t you?” she asks.

He sighs. “It’s just that you’ll get a lot of attention, and it won’t be positive.” he mumbles. “I have very… intense fans.”

“Well I have nothing to hide. And anyways, I’m not on social media so they can’t do that much damage, can they?” she asks. He looks at her somewhat sadly. She doesn’t want to hear what he has to say because it looks like he’s going to say something along the lines of _yes, they can do a lot of damage_ , so she just keeps talking. “Besides, they’re gonna find out eventually.” she says with a shrug.

“Yeah, I suppose so.” he says slowly. “But this is a serious thing. If you wanna bail now, I won’t blame you. They’ll leave you alone.” he says quietly, hand on hers. Her eyebrows bunch up and she looks at him questioningly. His eyes widen in panic. “Oh no, no, no, I don’t mean it like… I don’t… I’m not ashamed of you or anything like that.” he says, gripping her hand tighter. She nods slowly but doesn’t look completely convinced. “I’m sorry, babe, I really didn’t mean it like that.” he urges with a pout. A small smile works its way to her lips at the nickname. He smiles in comfort and kisses her cheek.

“It’s okay.” she reassures with a small smile, fluttering her eyelashes and sending his heart into overdrive.

“I’m gonna go make a call then.” he says, tapping her thigh. He stands and walks to his bedroom, dialling Jeffrey’s number.


	8. eight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2,050

It’s been three weeks since she first stayed the night in his apartment since the story that he’s seeing some random girl he met on the street blew over. Somehow, even if she’s not on social media in any way, they got a hold of her name and all the archived footage from her time at Juilliard. The name _Charlotte Laurent_ was on every tabloid and every online gossip website. It wasn’t like the paparazzi were all up on her face like they were for Xander but they were always lurking around corners, sneakily taking photos of her everyday life. She didn’t know which was worse.

She had to quit her job at the bookshop two weeks in because crazed fans kept stopping by and it either went one of two ways: they either freaked out and asked if she could call Xander so they could talk to them, or they would curse her out and dump coffee on her table. It was mostly the latter. The fans had taken over her life. Xander even gave her a new phone (insisting it was his old one and he _didn’t_ buy a new one for her, but she knew he was lying) because her old brick of a mobile was accidentally dropped into the Hudson River after she was running away from a creepy fan with a camcorder.

She had spent most her time in his apartment after that, hiding away from the public in fear, and it had caused a big fight between the two.

_“No, fuck this. I’m done.” Charlie had said, fighting back tears as she began to walk away, hoping and praying he would just let her leave because she didn’t think she could say goodbye to him a second time. But the odds were never in her favour._

_He had grabbed her arm, forcing her to turn back to face him. His expression was a mix of a grim sadness and an anxious worry. “Please stay.” he whispered earnestly. “I’m sorry about them. I’ll say something about it, I promise. Just please don’t leave me.” he said. “I need you.”_

_Her eyes began to water as she stared back at his pleading gaze. “I don’t like it. The attention, the hate. The paps and the fucking fans. It’s too much, Xander.” she said. He looked like he was going to fall apart at any second._

_“I’m so sorry, baby. Please just stay. It might be selfish of me to ask… but please. Don’t leave me. I’ll protect you.” he said, his voice was close to cracking from how upset he was._

_She looked at him for a few agonisingly long seconds before nodding slowly. He had let out a massive sigh of relief, eyes even more watery, and pulled her in for a tight hug. Her eyes left tear stains on his shirt but neither of them could have brought themselves to care._

After that, he had released a video statement on all platforms saying to respect their relationship and he didn’t want fans that harassed his girlfriend like they had been. Girlfriend. The word slipped so easily from his lips that he didn’t even realise he had said it until he stopped recording. From behind the camera, she lunged at him and wrapped her legs around his waist, their lips moulding together perfectly.

They were nicer to her after the statement was released. She wasn’t so scared to leave his apartment anymore. That and she was now well acquainted with his bodyguard, Ty. Ty spends more time protecting her than him nowadays, as per Xander’s request. But she still enjoyed spending most of her time in his home. She spent more time there than she did in her actual flat.

“Babe, you ready?” Xander calls from the kitchen, playing around with his house keys in boredom.

“Yeah, I’m coming!” she says, skipping out of their bedroom. Their. She’s been slipping a lot lately, using words like _us_ and _we_ and _ours_. She tugged her ratty earphones out of her ears and tossed them onto the sofa. Her earphones are always acting up. Sometimes the left side works, but barely, and sometimes it doesn’t. She keeps it anyway because the right side works perfectly. Also, since quitting her job, she hasn’t had the money to buy herself new things. And she absolutely refuses to ask for things from Xander, even if he insists on spoiling her rotten. “I’m nervous.” she says, wiping her sweaty hands on the top of her jeans.

“Don’t be. Alice will love you.” Xander tells her, kissing the tip of her nose.

They leave his apartment and get into the waiting car downstairs. Mark’s already in the driver’s seat and Ty gets into the front seat after closing the door behind them. “Alice’s studio, please.” he tells the driver, who nods and speeds off.

“What if I… I don’t know… say the wrong thing or something.” she says nervously, her gut twisting at the thought of meeting his best friend. He’s spent plenty of time with Tatiana but since Alice was finishing up some talk show appearances around Los Angeles, she wasn’t able to meet her until now.

“You won’t. She’s really excited to meet you.” he says with a smile, which she can’t help but return. “So this date you wanna take me on.” he starts and her eyes light up once more. “How do I dress for it?” he asks.

She bites her lip in thought. “Super casually. Nothing flashy.” she says. “Don’t draw attention to yourself. Please.”

He sighs but holds her hand gently anyway. “I don’t do it on purpose.” he says like he’s done a million times before. “I’m sorry.” he says and, like it’s done a million times before, her heart overflows with guilt. She knows it’s not his fault, she knows she should be more patient. But it’s just difficult when they can’t even walk to the grocery without being mobbed and stopped every two seconds for photos.

The car pulls to a stop and Ty opens her door first. She steps out and he follows after. Ty leads them into the building in ease. The receptionist just says hi to Xander, clearly a familiar face in this building (he even calls her by her first name and asks how her baby’s doing), and lets them through without any trouble.

With each corner they turn, Charlie feels more and more nervous. The walls are lined with all the most famous artists and their signatures, sporting various different album artworks and photos of them winning big awards. She feels completely out of her element and grips onto Xander’s hand for a sense of protection.

They finally enter a studio on one of the higher floors and Charlie relaxes at the sight of the various musical paraphernalia scattered about. She feels at home in studios. She knows what every button does, what every instrument sounds like, how the room is soundproofed. A smile creeps its way onto her lips as familiarity tugs at her heart. She hasn’t been in a recording studio since her Juilliard days.

The sound of a frustrated scream breaks her out of her reverie, though the noise is extremely fitting inside the studio.

“You good?” Xander asks and a beautiful girl with long hair styled in thin braids shakes her head angrily. Charlie looks at her and is definitely familiar with her face. Sam has a huge crush on her, always calls her his Woman-Crush-Wednesday. She can’t wait to see his face when she tells him she met her. He’s been talking her ear off ever since he found out she was best friends with Xander, begging Charlie to introduce him.

“No. I can’t get this right. Something about it just doesn’t sound good.” Alice mumbles grumpily.

“Lemme hear it.” Xander urges.

Alice turns back to the piano and begins to sing the lines before the problematic one, playing along as she does. The way she plays piano is simple and suggestive, not really knowing how to play but familiar enough with the notes. Just a single press of the key, sustaining the chord with the foot pedal until it’s time to switch to the next one.

Once she finishes, abrupt and awkward, she drops her hands and looks at the pair with a frustrated huff.

“It’s the G#…” Charlie whispers to herself but Alice catches it.

“What was that?” she asks. It wasn’t angry, it was pure curiosity. Charlie blushes and clears her throat.

“It’s the G#.” she repeats, louder this time. Xander watches her with a proud smile. “It’s good, it is… I just think if you change it to E A E F#m then end it with the C#m, the melody will sound more coherent to your song.” she says shyly. Alice looks at her with a smile and raised brows of delighted shock. She gestures towards the piano stool and Charlie looks up at Xander unsurely. He just smiles down and gives her hand a reassuring squeeze.

She slides in with an ease that comes from doing it since she could walk. She glances at Alice awkwardly, hoping she isn’t overstepping her boundaries. Alice urges her on with a nod. With a sigh of comfort, she begins to play the notes before the line change she suggested, starting from where Alice started. Alice looks pleasantly surprised that she was able to pick it up after listening to it just once. She’s even making it sound much more complex and whole with more rhythm to it as opposed to just singular notes. More importantly, Charlie knew exactly what she wanted it to sound like… just from a few chords on the piano and a few bars of song.

Alice begins to sing quietly along, almost just to herself, and when they get to the line just at the start of the pre-chorus, she squeals happily at how it sounds much better with the change in notes.

“You’re brilliant!” she exclaims, giving Charlie a quick hug that she didn’t have enough time to return.

“Thanks.” Charlie says with a laugh.

“Do you… do you wanna be the pianist for my album? My last one just bailed on me to tour with Taylor Swift.” she said with an eye roll and an angry scoff. Charlie almost chokes on her spit. “And I’m not that good on the piano and it’s been a nightmare trying to hire someone and it’s really slowing down the process.”

“I- uh,” she says slowly, stumbling over her thoughts. “I don’t know if I’m qualified.” she admits, a dark blush taking over her features.

“How long have you been playing piano for?” Alice asks.

“Twenty-one years…” she says quietly.

“And she graduated from Juilliard.” Xander intercepts proudly from where he sits on the sofa’s armrest, secretly videoing the whole thing with a goofy smile on his lips. He can’t help it, he’s just so fucking proud.

“You’re literally perfect. And you understand my vision for the song, which nobody else seems to. They keep trying to change the sound because they don’t get it like you do. Please, please, please.” Alice says, holding Charlie’s hands in hers. Alice would normally be a bit more trepidatious in a situation like this. What she’s offering is an extremely important role and a big decision on her part. But she trusts Xander, and if he’s advocating her, then she must be overly qualified. He has very high standards. Alice always teases that he’s too hard to please.

Charlie would be lying if she said she didn’t want to do it. She could definitely use the money, for one, but more importantly, she terribly misses music. Sure, she has an old piano that she loves more than anything, and she’s still writing music all the time. But… it’s different being in a studio, contributing to something that’s actually going to be heard by the world. A real _thing_. Everything she writes just stays in her journal, but this… this is going to be _real_.

She barely had time to think of the precautions of it all before her lips are betraying her and the words are stumbling out from her throat. “Yeah, okay. I’ll do it.”


	9. nine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2,126

It takes approximately nine hours for the story to leak, two for it to be on every headline, and one for it to be the number one trending topic on Twitter. A lot of people were annoyed, saying that _she didn’t even work for it_ and _it’s just because of Alex_. A few were pointing out that she, in fact, _went to Juilliard so she must have_ some _talent_. Xander had taken her laptop then so she couldn’t read any further.

The first call she got was from Sam, damn near crying and begging her to bring him to the studio. The second call she got was from Tatiana, asking if Alice would need someone that looked like her for a music video or something. The third call she got was from Ollie, asking if she wanted to get a present for their parents when they visit in a few days.

“Your parents are visiting?” Xander asks excitedly as she hung up the phone. He shrugs on a pair of brown plants, simple and plain, though he somehow is able to make it look like it came straight off a runway from Paris Fashion Week. He does that a lot.

“Yeah, they are. My dad’s doing pretty good so he wants to visit before he gets worse again. They’ll only be here for like two days.” she says with a shrug. He picks up a plain black shirt and puts it on, much to her disappointment. He leans down and laces on a pair of all black Yeezys.

The first time Xander heard about her parents was his first time in her apartment. He had sat down on her lumpy mattress, jumping at a rogue spring that popped out, hand holding a family photo that was tacked on her wall.

_“Your parents are gorgeous.” he had said with a smile. “Your whole family’s ridiculously attractive. This is insanely unfair.” he said, shaking his head._

_She scoffed but smiled at him anyway with a light blush, sitting down next to him. She had felt really insecure about showing his apartment to him but he’s done a brilliant job ignoring all the shitty things about it, to which she’s grateful. He didn’t say a word about the chipping paint of the building’s exterior, or the elevator that makes cranking noises and looks like a murder scene, or the broken lock of her front door. If he noticed the rundown furniture in her apartment, or the fact that the water of the tap takes a while to come out, or the creaking floorboards, he didn’t say a single word. She quite likes him for that._

_“Tell me about them. Your parents.” he said, looking at her._

_She scratched her head in thought before speaking. “Um, my dad’s French and my mum’s a Dane. They met on the beach in Mykonos and fell in love instantly. They moved here to New York with all of us when we were just kids, Sam wasn’t even in the picture yet.” she said, voice hinting of nostalgia._

_“Where are your parents now?” he asked, eyes lingering on the photograph in his hands. He’s not sure if it’s a sensitive topic, if it’s something he should be asking, and he can’t meet her eyes just in case he overstepped a boundary. But she doesn’t really talk about them so he’s not sure if his curiosity came across as rude._

_“Oh, they’re back in Paris.” she had said. “They moved back around two years ago. My dad’s got cancer so my mum is helping him through it. Cheaper back there for him, since he’s a citizen and all that.” she said. A beat of silence filled the air. Not quite awkward, not quite tense, but something around those lines._

_“I’m sorry.” he said with soft eyes. She shrugged, her expression unreadable. He doesn’t quite know what to say so he just placed a gentle hand on hers. She had looked down at the entwined hands and her lips quirked up in the tiniest smile._

_“S’all good.” she said, looking back up at him. “What about your parents?” she asked._

_He had gone on a twenty-minute spiel about his relationship with his parents and how he missed them terribly but they didn’t want to leave El Paso even if he had promised to buy them a new house and take care of them in Los Angeles, where he lives half of the time. He talked about what it was like growing up with two moms and how that, plus the fact that he had an older sister, shaped how he treats women. He talked about how they would all absolutely love Charlie, and it made her blush profusely._

“Is this okay?” he asks, arms out and looking down at his outfit.

“You look perfect.” she says, her voice annoyed. “You could wear a garbage bag and look perfect.” she says bitterly, poking his chest angrily. He laughs and pulls her into a hug.

She’s about to walk out of their— his— bedroom when he stops her. “Wait, wait. I forgot to give you something.” he says. She turns with a raised brow.

“Tell me you didn’t get me something.” she says, almost sounding desperate. Though she knows he probably got her something thoughtful and amazing and all she can give him are cuddles and kisses. Which he gives her back tenfold. _Fuck, I’m an awful girlfriend_ , she thinks miserably.

“It’s just a small thing.” he insists, picking up a box from his bedside drawer. He hands it to her with a nervous smile. She takes it reluctantly and her heart drops when she sees the front displaying an image of blue earphones with the word ‘ _urbeats_ ’ on the side. Because, _of course_ , he thinks paying a hundred dollars for a pair of _earphones_ is a _small thing_. “I borrowed your earphones and I noticed it was broken so I got you a pair.” he says, shifting his weight every few words.

He knows she doesn’t particularly like it when he buys her things because she feels like she can’t do the same for her but he can’t help it. He just wants to give her the world. And anyways, her earphones were broken so he thinks he can get away with it this time.

“Babe…” she says, looking up at him.

He silences her by pulling her in for a kiss.

When he pulls away, she sighs in defeat. “Thank you.” she says. “I love them. I just wish you’d get me something cheaper.” she says with a pout.

“But these will last longer.” he insists anyway. “And this way, we’re matching!” he says with the cutest impish smile that she can’t not kiss.

☾ 

“I’ve never been here before.” he says in delight as she excitedly gets out of the car.

“It’s fun! All you can eat buffet for ten dollars!” she says, dragging him by the wrist into the building. They told Ty to dress inconspicuously and monitor from a distance because Charlie insists that having a big buff guy with an earpiece next to them will draw too much attention. “This bit’s fun because you can stuff as much as you into the bag and you get all of it for five dollars.” she explains as they pass the bagging station.

He laughs, never in his life experiencing something so cheap. Bang for your buck, Charlie always says. “We can have a competition.” he says and she nods very seriously.

“Yeah, I’ll win, though.” she says as they walk towards the area.

She grabs a bag and begins stretching it out expertly. He sneaks glances and copies whatever she’s doing but she lets him have that one. After two minutes of him trying to talk to her but her giving him nothing but radio silence and a concentrated scowl, she lifts her bag and puts it next to his.

“I win.” he says proudly.

“What the fuck…” she says, mostly to herself, counting out the contents of her bag once more. After the fifth recount, she finally concedes. “Fine, okay, you win.” she says with a groan. They take their overstuff bags, along with their buffet stubs, to the till.

She firmly decides that she’s going to retaliate by paying for the entire date. It proves to be a bad idea when she only has sixty-five dollars to her name and the date takes up thirty whole dollars. Still, she keeps her flinch hidden and he doesn’t offer to pay again after the first two times failed.

They sit at their table and Charlie definitely has three plates more than Xander in front of her.

“I really wanna get your parents something.” Xander says, eating a forkful of vegetables, an area of the buffet that Charlie steered clear from. “I mean… if you, like, want us to meet, or whatever… I just… sorry, that was really presumptuous.” he rambles, hands getting sweatier by the second.

She shrugs, fully engrossed in her pasta. “They’ll wanna meet you. They’ve already been asking my brothers about you, like, incessantly. They don’t speak very good English, though.” she says. She tries to eat two different pasta sauces at the same time and regrets it almost immediately.

He chuckles as he hands her his bottle of water. “That’s fine.” he says. “What do you think they’ll want?”

She hums in thought and finishes half of his water. “They won’t really care, either way.” she promises. “They’ll just be happy you’re getting them something, honestly. But you really don’t have to.” she insists.

“I will.” he says stubbornly. He takes out his phone and sends a quick text to his personal assistant, Agnes, to buy a necklace and a watch. He gave her one of his credit cards in case he needs her to buy some stuff for him, when he’s too busy or, if he’s being perfectly honest, not bothered enough to get out of bed and deal with paparazzi.

She replies right away with ‘ _got it!_ ’ and he pockets his phone.

“Fucking hell,” she curses angrily, ducking lower down onto the table and hiding half of her face with one of her hands.

“What happened?” he asks, looking around quickly.

“Saw someone taking photos… they’re coming over right now.” she mumbled, suddenly losing her appetite a little bit. The constant flow of delicious food he cooks for her has taken its toll on her normally starved body. She’s still petite and slender, but she’s definitely gained a few pounds. It didn’t bother her in the slightest, especially since she wanted to gain weight, but she saw comments online of her ‘ _letting herself go_ ’ and ‘ _I bet Alex will leave her soon now that she’s fat_ ’ and it’s hard not to let those words affect you. The constant photos of her being released out into the public was not helpful in the slightest.

Before he could respond, the two excited girls have already made their way to their table but Ty immediately makes his presence known. “Ladies, move right along.” he warns them. “No photos, no videos.” he says, looking pointedly at their phones that were not so subtly recording the pair.

“But we just wanna say hi to Alex.” they say with high pitched whining voices.

“It’s okay, Ty, I’ll take photos with them.” Xander says, perfectly hiding his distaste before standing up. He knows that it’ll go much faster this way and if they’re denied their photo, they’ll just keep filming from afar. Hopefully this satisfies them enough to let it go.

Ty nods but blocks Charlie from every angle possible, keeping her away from their cameras, a recent system they’ve come up with that has proven to be effective.

After they cry and get their photos, they scamper off, squealing.

“We should leave.” Ty tells the pair, who nod and gather their things. They both know how it goes. The photos are posted and fans start swarming the area, mobbing them in and making it extremely difficult and _painful_ to get back to the car. Plus, the other people who have been leaving them alone thus far saw people freaking out over them, which means they’ll start getting curious and will start bothering them too.

Ty leads them out and into the car quickly, only one other person getting a selfie with Xander.

“That was a lovely date. Thank you.” he says when the car door closes behind them.

She scoffs. “Yeah, until it got cut short.” she says, rolling her eyes grumpily. This always happens on their dates. “Whatever. We got a bunch of junk food anyway.” she says, hugging the two overstuffed bags they picked up and he laughs, kissing her temple fondly.


	10. ten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scroll down for translations!
> 
> Word count: 2,291

“So what’s Alice like?” Sam asks excitedly from the backseat of the car Ollie rented, poking his face right by Charlie in the front seat. She laughs and playfully shoves his face back. They both told their older brother that he didn’t have to rent a car and they can just take the subway but he had insisted to do this anyway, saying _dad’s sick, we’re not cramping him in the subway_.

“She’s nice. Much too good for you.” she tells Sam, who pouts and furrows his brows. Ollie laughs from the driver’s seat, shaking his head.

“Speaking of famous people,” Ollie says not-so-smoothly. “Are you sure Xander’s okay with them staying at his place? Because honestly, I can make room at mine.” he says, making a sharp left turn and causing both his siblings to slam against the side. None of them are particularly good drivers since they live in New York. They were good when they were learning to drive to get their licences… then they became out of practice.

“Yeah, of course.” Charlie says, unfazed by the bad driving, adjusting her seatbelt casually. “He has a massive guest room and both of you guys are in one-bedroom flats. It kind of makes sense.” she says.

Ollie parks in front of the international arrival terminal of JFK and they immediately see their parents stood with one luggage in the hands of their mom. They all run out excitedly and hug the pair tightly, but remaining careful around their dad.

“Dad! You’re alive!” Sam exclaims light-heartedly with a big grin as soon as they all pull apart.

He laughs but shakes his head. “ _Oh mon dieu, vous parlez toujours anglais. Un tel américain._ ” he says and Sam blushes.

“ _Je suis désolé._ ” he says shyly.

They all pile into the car, Sam taking the luggage and stuffing it in the boot, before driving over to Xander’s apartment. They fill the silence with easy catching up, nobody really talking about their father’s sickness or how he looks much weaker, his skin more translucent, his hands shaking. French and Danish blend together easily until Charlie’s thinking in a mixture of the two languages and it hurts her head to text Xander in English.

Charlie blushes when her mom said both of them watched one of Xander’s television shows religiously and they were gutted when it stopped airing. She didn’t even know her parents had free time for things like movies and TV but, apparently, they have _too much_ time on their hands nowadays and all they do is stay in and binge on Netflix. Charlie begs them not to mention it to Xander.

She lets them all in with the spare key Xander gave her last week and all their eyes widen at the apartment in front of them (with a particular stunned comment from Ollie as he mumbles “ _That’s a Peter Doig painting! Holy fuck, that’s an original Peter Doig!_ ” in a trance-like daze).

From the bedroom, she can hear Xander bickering with somebody. “I know you said I’d do his movie, I know, I know… No, Pete, hear me out!” he says in exasperation. Charlie can just imagine him massaging his temples in stress as he paces the room like he usually does when he’s on a difficult phone call. “I never said I wanted to do it. I don’t wanna work with him.”

“Babe!” Charlie calls out, accent definitely more European than it is normally.

“Listen, I gotta go. I’ll call you back later.” he says before bounding out into the living room with a big smile on his face. “Hi!” he says excitedly, walking over to them. Charlie slots herself underneath his arm as he waves at the family.

Ollie and Sam stare at him with slack jaws. Like, they’ve always _known_ he’s there and they’ve _known_ of his relationship with Charlie and they’ve _seen_ all the photos but it’s different to see him in person, the guy they’ve only ever seen on the big screen. But their reaction is nothing compared to their mother’s— her face is beet red and she looks like she’s about to pass out at any second.

“Welcome!” Xander exclaims happily, unfazed by their reactions, all too used to it.

“ _Åh gud… er dette virkelige liv_?” she says, almost in a daze, eyes wide. Their father laughs at her reaction, rubbing her back in support.

“ _Mor, han taler kun engelsk_.” Charlie tells her mother. “English only.” she translates. Her mom just looks bashful but smiles sweetly anyway.

“I’m sorry, my English is not very good.” she says in a rough and broken accent, a face-splitting smile on her lips.

Xander just smiles at her. “It’s much better than my Danish so don’t worry about it.” he says. “My name is Xander McDonough.” he says, hand out.

“Baptiste.” their father says, shaking his hand. “My wife… name is Filippa.” he introduces, laughing and hugging her closer as she still hasn’t recovered. They’re the image of a couple in love, not only that but a couple whose love has unwaveringly passed the most troubled of waters and the passage of time.

“So lovely to finally meet you two.” he says. “And you guys must be Ollie and Sam?” he asks, turning to her brothers. They nod and shake his hand. He turns back to the couple still cuddled together and laughing and can’t help but smile. “Please, let me show you to the guest room.” he says, leading the way.

As they walk ahead, Charlie looks up to face him, hands still intertwined. “What was that call about?” she asks in a soft whisper. He rolls his eyes and groans quietly.

“I’ll tell you about it later. My agent is screwing me over.” he mumbles. He opens the door to the guest room and lets them pass inside, Ollie wheeling their shared luggage behind them. “This door leads to your bathroom, your closet is here.” Xander says, showing them around the room. “I hope you guys feel at home here. Use the kitchen any time, lounge around, you’re more than welcome.” he says with a smile.

“Thank you.” Baptiste says earnestly, a smile that wrinkles his eyes on his lips.

“I love your work!” Filippa bursts out. Charlie groans at the same time Baptiste slaps his forehead with the palm of his hand and both Ollie and Sam try not to laugh too loudly. Xander laughs good-heartedly and ducks his head in humility.

“Thank you so much. It means a lot.” he says, a glint in his eyes. “Oh! I almost forgot.” he says, heading over to the king-sized bed in the middle of the room and picking up the two boxes that sat on top. He hands it over to them. “A welcome present.” he says, almost shyly.

“Patek Philippe, _oh mon c'est si cher_.” his father says with wide eyes, holding the heavy box in his hands. The inside showed a gorgeous watch with a dark brown leather band and a thick golden frame, the face is white and the numbers are in Roman numerals, the day and month displayed on the sides. “I cannot take this.” his father says, looking back up at Xander and trying to assess his features, trying to find that it’s all a joke.

“No, please, it’s a gift.” he says with a smile.

Filippa’s mouth gapes at the box in her own hands. She’s opened it shakily to reveal a delicate platinum chain with a ring-like charm in the middle, two more of smaller sizes inside the outermost layer, all surrounded by tiny diamonds that shine in the light. “Cartier?” she says quietly to herself before looking back up at her husband and then to Xander, and then back to her husband. “This is too generous.” she says, but Xander just shakes his head.

“Just wanted to find a good way to welcome you two back to New York.” he says.

“ _Jeg ønsker en_.” Ollie says from the back, staring at the gifts.

Sam snorts in laughter. “Yeah, _si vous ne le voulez pas, je le prendrai_.” he says, eyeing the watch in his father’s hands.

Xander looks cluelessly at the pair but smiles nonetheless. Charlie kisses his cheek because he’s being too nice and treating her family so kindly and _how can she not_?

“I made a reservation tonight at La Grenouille, it’s a lovely French restaurant on 52nd street, not too far from here.” he tells them nervously, hoping he made the right call in restaurants. “If you don’t want to eat there, though, there’s plenty of nice places around too.” he says.

Baptiste laughs shyly. “French!” he says in delight. “Thank you. You’re so, uh… _merde, quel est le mot ... comment dites-vous réfléchi_?” he asks, eyes shifting through his family members around the room, silently pleading for one of them to throw him a lifeline.

“Thoughtful.” Charlie translates for him.

“ _Oui_!” he says happily. “Very thoughtful. Thank you.” he says to Xander, who blushes.

“If it’s okay with you, we had a lengthy flight and Baptiste is not as strong as he pretends to be.” Filippa says and Baptiste turns to her with furrowed brows.

“ _Oh mon, Filippa! Ce n'est pas vrai! Jeg er ikke svag, min kærlighed_.” he tells her with a small pout, switching between the two languages with ease.

“No, of course! Please, get some rest. I’ll see you tonight at six.” Xander says in a polite understanding.

“ _Regardez ce que vous avez fait_.” Baptiste grumbles.

“ _Tu dois te reposer, mon amour_.” Filippa tells him softly, a gentle hand on his bicep. “Thank you so much.” she says, turning back to Xander. They all file out of the guest bedroom, Charlie closing the door behind them all.

“I gotta head to work.” Sam says, scratching the back of his neck as he checks his watch, sounding like he really doesn’t want to go to work.

“Good luck.” Charlie tells him with a smile.

“We’ll see you tonight?” Xander asks and Sam looks up in shock. “To dinner?” Xander clarifies but Sam doesn’t look any less confused.

“I just… I didn’t think I was invited.” he admits with a small blush. Maybe he was a bit presumptuous about Xander. He’s a nice guy, clearly, and Sam suddenly feels much too guilty about all the nasty things he’s said about him in the past.

“Of course you are!” Xander says with a bright smile, Charlie still underneath his arm.

“Um, yeah… I mean, I have to study for my midterms after work but yeah, I’ll meet you there.” he says, guilt only growing in his chest. They say their goodbyes and Sam walks out the door, grumbling something about not being in the mood to whip a girl raw.

The three of them settle on the sofa, Charlie and Xander cuddled together and Ollie sat on the other corner. “Is it just going to be the six of us at dinner?” Ollie asks, eyeing the impressive Academy Awards next to the television in front of them.

“My best friend, Alice, is coming.” he says and Ollie laughs loudly at that.

“Oh man, Sam’s gonna lose it when he finds out. Nobody tell him, okay? I wanna see his expression when he sees her for the first time.” Ollie says, grabbing his gut in laughter. Charlie giggles along and Xander kisses her temple fondly. His laughter dies down, wiping at the stray tears that have fallen from his eyes before Xander speaks again.

“And I think Tatiana’s coming too, right?” he asks, turning to Charlie for confirmation. Charlie bites her lip nervously and nods. Ollie isn’t feeling as high-spirited anymore. He feels like he’s sinking lower into reality, landing with a loud thump. He hasn’t seen her in person for nearly a year and doesn’t think he can stomach it.

If Xander notices the tension, he doesn’t comment on it. “So, Charlie tells me you work at MOMA...” he says and Ollie smiles up at him politely, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “How does one even become a painting conservator?” Xander asks with a genuine curiosity.

Ollie chuckles fondly. “Well for me, I did my bachelors at UPenn, double majored in art history and chemistry, minored in anthropology. Then I did my masters at Harvard for studio art. Interned and travelled all over the world, until I came here, back to my hometown for a job at MOMA.” he says with a grin.

Xander’s jaw near drops. “That’s insanely cool, man.” he says with wide eyes. Charlie giggles at his expression.

“Is it really?” Ollie asks doubtfully, though he smiles anyway. “Not as cool as your job, I reckon.” he says, eyeing up the Academy Awards once more.

Xander blushes. “The acting thing’s alright, I suppose.” he says shyly. “Not quite Ivy League level impressive.” he says.

“I highly disagree.” Ollie says with a laugh. “What are these?” he asks curiously, catching eye of the thick piles of paper on the coffee table in front of them.

“Oh, these are just new scripts my agent sent me. I’m meant to read through them and pick one but…” he says, trailing off lazily. He’s looking at the pile like he really can’t be bothered to even lift it off the table. “I’m enjoying my break too much. Don’t really want to go back to work.” he admits and Ollie nods in understanding, though he can’t quite hide his fascination by it all. “You’ve made me lazy.” he tells Charlie, who just giggles mischievously.

“Oops. Sorry.” she says, not sounding sorry at all. In fact, she sounds quite pleased with herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Oh mon dieu, vous parlez toujours anglais. Un tel américain.] = Oh my god, you always speak English. Such an American.
> 
> [Je suis désolé.] = I'm sorry.
> 
> [Åh gud… er dette virkelige liv?] = Oh God ... is this real life?
> 
> [Mor, han taler kun engelsk.] = Mom, he speaks English only.
> 
> [Oh mon c'est si cher.] = Oh my, it's so expensive.
> 
> [Jeg ønsker en.] = I want one.
> 
> [Si vous ne le voulez pas, je le prendrai.] = If you don't want it, I'll take it.
> 
> [Merde, quel est le mot ... comment dites-vous réfléchi?] = Shit, what's the word... how do you say thoughtful?
> 
> [Oui!] = Yes!
> 
> [Oh mon, Filippa! Ce n'est pas vrai! Jeg er ikke svag, min kærlighed.] = Oh my, Filippa! This is not true! I'm not weak, my love.
> 
> [Regardez ce que vous avez fait.] = Look at what you did.
> 
> [Tu dois te reposer, mon amour.] = You have to rest, my love.


	11. eleven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible TW: mention of bulimia/bulimic tendencies
> 
> Word count: 2,813

Weird. The start of their dinner is nothing short of weird. This is not how Xander was imagining their first dinner all together but that’s what it is. There’s a thick tension across the board.

It all started before they even left for dinner, Charlie and Xander arguing in their locked bedroom as they attempted to get ready for the dinner.

_“I don’t want to do the fucking movie, okay?! He didn’t even fucking consult me— just told them I’d do it and expected me to follow his orders like a god damn dog.” Xander angrily yelled._

_“He’s your agent! I’m sure he’s just doing what’s best for you and you shouldn’t be so angry when he’s just doing his job.” she fought back as she shoved her heels on her feet._

_“You don’t even know anything about this industry! It’s still my choice, I still have a say in what I do and what I don’t.” he spat out, arms out in frustration, the tie in his hand flew around like a flag as he tried to make her understand._

_“Why don’t you even want to do it?” she asked, plopping down on the edge of the bed. “Why are you causing so much drama over a stupid movie?”_

_An animalistic growl ripped from his throat, angrily bunching the tie in his hands. He threw the crumpled tie in the hamper and picked out a new one. “Why do you even care so much?! Why can’t you just drop it?” he asked as he angrily wrapped it around his neck._

_“Because it’s making you miserable and I actually fucking care about you.” she said, eyes glaring through him._

_He whipped around to face her, a flash of hurt evident in his eyes. “You think I don’t care about you?” he asked. Her face softened as she huffed in defeat._

_“Of course I know you care about me.” she said. “I just don’t understand why you’re so angry about this.”_

_He groans in exasperation as he sat down next to her, placing a hand on her bare thigh. She tried to ignore the shiver that shot down her spine. “Because I feel like I’m losing control. I feel like nobody gives a shit about what I want anymore. It’s just all about the money and the press… I feel burnt out. I worked on five movies last year and only then, after extensive begging and negotiating, was I allowed to take this break. I get so… toxic when I’m working. There’s so much pressure and I get into some… bad habits. I don’t want you to see that. And I don’t feel ready to go back but they’re making me and I don’t even wanna do the dumb movie. It’s just another generic romcom.” he said, rolling his eyes, and she felt an orb of guilt bob up her chest. “And do you remember Serena? My ex? She’s confirmed to be the leading lady for it, which is why my agent wants me to do the film so much. It’ll cause drama, headlines… press. And anyway, it shoots in LA and I don’t wanna leave you. I just wanna stay here with you.” he mumbled._

_“Why don’t you just tell him that?” she asked with a dry mouth._

_“I did. I told him that I didn’t want to leave you and I didn’t want you dragged into the drama of Serena and I. Plus, told him you wouldn’t like me making out with her and having a whole bunch of fake sex.” he said, and she giggled, despite herself. The sound makes him kiss her gently._

_“What did he say?” she asked quietly._

_His face was a mixture of reluctance and regret. “He told me to break up with you.” he said. Her face dropped and her heart sunk down to her stomach. At her expression, he panicked. “But I obviously said no. I’d never do that.” he said, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in. He hoped she’d feel how much he loved and cared for her._

Then, in came Tatiana. The Laurent family, save for Sam, and Xander were all sat around the table, making idle chit-chat, when she walked in wearing a tight black dress and white heels. She smiled pleasantly and greeted Baptiste and Filippa kindly before she locked eyes with Ollie. She felt her entire world shatter around her, and if his expression was anything to go by, he was feeling the exact same way. She had shakily taken a seat next to Charlie, though the sudden tension was painfully obvious. Polite conversation was made but Ollie and Tatiana stayed radio silent, opting instead to just stare at each other, heartbroken and awkward.

Then Alice walked in. Having not met any of the Laurent family yet, she started off bubbly and outgoing but eventually the palpable tension in the air made her lean back in her chair and pick at her perfectly manicured nails. She felt that it wasn’t her place to say anything, and nothing she was doing was defusing the tension, so she just sat back. Though she did help slightly as she can speak French conversationally, so she was able to at least distract Baptiste and Filippa from the awkwardness.

It goes that way for another half hour.

The appetisers are being taken away when Sam runs in, panting tiredly and apologising for being late. “I was called into work again, sorry, sorry!” he says, slumping down onto the last free seat. Baptiste and Filippa exchanged looks of exasperation, clearly not approving of his line of work, and begin to quickly speak to each other in pure Danish. Xander can’t understand a word but if the way Charlie’s slumping lower into her seat and the fact that even Ollie starts paying attention is anything to go by, he knows it can’t be good.

“ _Lad mig bare være_.” Sam says grumpily. “ _Jeg prøver bare at betale for skole_.”

He turns his head away from them and almost falls off his seat when he sees Alice sat next beside him. His eyes are bulging and breathing is jagged. “Hi, I’m Alice.” she says politely with a smile that sends him over the edge.

“I- uh, I-…” he stutters over and over again, making Charlie smirk into her hand and Ollie double over in laughter as he secretly films the whole exchange on his phone. Xander has never in his life been more thankful for someone’s libido— it all effectively defuses the tension.

Alice giggles and actually _blushes_. Xander’s _never_ seen her blush at someone reacting to her this way. “You’re funny.” she says, fluttering her eyelashes.

“I’m j— I’m just a big f-fan of yours…” Sam admits, looking like he really could cry at any given second. “My, uh, my n-name is Sam.” he says.

Alice smiles at him knowingly, leaning her head on her hand.

“Sam…” she says with a smile. “You’re cute. Like, really cute.” she says and Sam looks like he’s going to have a seizure. Charlie chuckles into Xander’s arm, shaking her head. She’s never seen her younger brother so unable to keep his cool. He’s normally the one that's suave and unfazed in any situation.

The dinner comes out and everyone else busies themselves with eating but Alice just leans closer into Sam’s ear, warm breath tickling his skin. “I have to admit, I’m a big fan of your work too.” she says.

He blushes brightly because _how is this happening to him?_ He turns to face her slightly, a shy smirk on his lips. “Yeah?” he asks with a cocked brow.

She hums in agreement. “When I saw you on the tabloids one day with Charlie and they mentioned you were an… entertainer. You were so cute in the paparazzi’s photos, I just had to Google it. I wasn’t disappointed.” she says with a wink, leaning away and beginning to eat.

“Most people are put off by it.” he admits and she shrugs.

“I’m not most people.” Alice says and he can’t bite back the smile on his face. He literally pinches himself to make sure he isn’t dreaming and it only makes Alice giggle in endearment.

“Sam… Sam… _sainte baise_ , SAM!” Ollie snaps from the other side of the table. Sam drags his attention away from Alice, slightly blushing to discover everyone sniggering at his lack of attentiveness.

“What?” he asks, still feeling in a daze.

“ _Er du seriøs_? I’ve been calling you for like thirty seconds now.” Ollie says, rolling his eyes. This only makes Xander chuckle harder. He sees Alice picking at her food shyly, trying to avoid everyone else’s gaze. “I said do you remember the time when you got caught making out with Cynthia Jordan in the janitor’s closet?”

Sam laughs loudly, shaking his head. “‘Making out’ is putting it PG-13 lightly.”

Alice raises her brows at him coyly. “Should I be threatened by Cynthia Jordan?” she asks, voice low and teasing. You’d think Sam’s head would screw right off from how hard he shook it.

☾ 

Charlie stares at her reflection nervously, fiddling with the hem of the sheer navy blue baby doll dress she has on, landing right by the matching thong that came with the set. The thin strap goes over her pointed shoulders, lace accentuating her cleavage before fanning out into sheer fabric, slit in the middle to show off her bare stomach. She put her hand over it consciously. There’s a tiny pudge that wasn’t there before and the words of Xander’s fans are beginning to resonate with her.

She’s normally very against spending Xander’s money but she made an exception when she saw the lingerie set online. She just _knew_ she had to get it. She saw the way his eyes lingered over a similar looking set when they passed by Victoria’s Secret in the mall. When it arrived, she hid it under the bed in fear that she wouldn’t look good in it but after the fight they had earlier tonight, she wants so badly to make it up to him. So when her parents said goodnight and closed the guest room door, she ran into their bedroom and slipped it on.

“Babe?” he calls from the bedroom. “Everything okay? You’ve been in there for a while.” he says.

“Yeah.” she says back, getting back into her heels before she could talk herself out of it. She took a few deep breaths before turning off the lights and opening the door.

He’s laying on the bed with his white polo shirt’s sleeves rolled up to his elbows, tie loose around his neck. A glass of whiskey sits on the bedside table next to him and he scrolls through his phone lazily. She clears her throat and tries not to cry under his gaze when his head snaps to face her.

His mouth slacks slightly as his phone drops onto the floor, completely forgotten about. His eyes shamelessly rake her body up and down, taking in each curve and line like it’s the last time he’ll ever see it. His reaction gives her a boost of confidence and she walks over to him on the bed, swinging a leg over his to straddle him, heels still on. She can feel how tight his black slacks are and feels immense pride knowing it’s because of her.

She grabs the collar of his shirt and begins kissing his neck slowly, taking her time as she licks and sucks on as much skin as she can get her lips on. His low moans and small thrusts make her smirk against his skin. She pulls away and lowers herself onto his lap, maintaining perfect eye contact as she begins to unbuckle his belt.

He brings his hands up to cup the curve of her ass, pushing up into the air. His large hands knead the soft flesh, making her mewl slightly. He almost drools at the sound. She slowly pulls the zipper of his pants down and he sighs in relief when it fully opens.

“So hard for me, just for me.” she says with a giggle— fully _giggles_ — and he thinks she’s gonna give him a heart attack. “Do you wanna fuck me?” she asks, biting her lip like a menace before she licks a stripe over his underwear, causing him to moan deeply.

“More than you know.” he replies huskily, eyes dark with desire. She smiles up at him coyly, fingers playing with the garter of his underwear, taking her time in pulling it down.

He raises a hand and smacks it down onto her ass experimentally, hard enough for her to jolt but gentle enough where it wouldn’t bruise. She moans at the contact and he smirks down at her. He takes one hand and tangles it into her blonde hair, firm hand pulling down so her head’s titled up at him. She bites her lip and looks oh so innocent, though he knows she’s anything but. “Don’t tease, kitten.” he says, voice low and gruff. The sound makes her dizzy with _wantwantwant_. She’s almost disappointed when he lets go of her hair but scrambles to pull down his underwear, wasting no time.

☾ 

Xander rolls over her with a satisfied huff, grinning like a mad man as he cuddles her closer into him. She smiles onto her chest, peppering mini kisses wherever she can reach. “You’re amazing.” he says with a lazy smile. “What did I do to deserve you?”

She blushes and bites his arm gently as a response.

They lay like that for a few minutes, curled up together and listening to each other breathe as the room gets darker and darker. The silence only breaks when she turns to face him. “I’m sorry about earlier.” she says, almost whispers. She feels like she’s back at the first night she stayed over after the ballet, quiet whispers and warm skin. It feels like forever ago.

“It’s okay, baby… I’m sorry too.” he huffs, kissing the top of her head gently.

“I just… what did you mean by becoming toxic when you work? Bad habits?” she asks, voice even quieter in fear of annoying him or starting up another fight. He just sighs, not in irritation but like he knew the question was coming; had to come eventually.

“When I work, I’m put under a lot of pressure to be a certain way, act a certain way… look a certain way.” he says, voice dropping steadily. “So when I’m filming, Kristy puts me under really strict diets but like I told you before, when I get a small taste of something, I need to eat the whole thing. And on sets, there’s always a full table filled with easy, quick junk food. I can’t help it, I try but I can’t, and like, it’s _right there_. So… I always eat things I shouldn’t and then I feel really bad and I end up… throwing it up.” he admits, voice shaking as he looks at the dark ceiling above him.

She instantly wraps herself around him as if to keep him safe from everything out in the world. “No.” she says, almost desperately. “Y-you… no.” she says, at a loss for words.

He sighs once more, hugging her in tighter. “I know, I know— it’s not healthy, it’ll kill me, it only makes it worse, I know. And, I mean, it’s not like I do it all the time… just when I’m filming. I’m trying to stop, though, I promise.” he says.

“You’re perfect.” she says, kissing his neck with a focus of trying to make him understand his words through that one kiss.

“I’m not.” he says but she hums in disapproval, a whine stuck in her throat.

“You are.” she insists. “I can help. I know what to do. Tatiana, she…” she begins but trails off guiltily, knowing it’s not her place to say. But Xander understands. He knows how cutthroat the ballet world is and knows what it’s like under the scrutinising watch of the public eye. He understands. “Anyways, I can help. We’ll get through it.” she says.

He chuckles at her almost impish tone but can’t stop the blush from creeping up his neck. “We will.” he says in a broken whisper. A beat of silence. “I love you.” he says, looking down at her. She stares back up at him with wide eyes and a dropped jaw, her heart clenching around itself. She quickly scrambles to sit on his hips, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly, almost pulling him off the bed with her embrace.

Her lips graze his ear as she cuddles her head in the crook of his neck, the mixture of his Tom Ford cologne and him overriding her senses. “I love you too.” she whispers.


	12. twelve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scroll to the end notes for translations :)
> 
> Word count: 2,335

Charlie’s fingers flew over the keys with ease, feeling completely in her element. Alice’s voice fills the recording studio beautifully, swaying slightly to the beat of the music. She has a hand on one of the large headphones covering her ears and the other moving around like a conductor to the beat. “ _Did you mean it when you said I was pretty? That you didn’t wanna live in the city where the people are shitty._ ” she sings, voice rumbling with a natural intensity.

When the song ends, Alice smiles proudly at the microphone like everything sounded just how she wanted it to. “That sounds awesome, A. Take five, guys.” the producer says from outside the recording booth, shooting them a thumbs up. Alice beams at him and takes the headphones off, hanging it behind the microphone.

“That was sick. Hiring you might have been the best choice I’ve ever made.” Alice says happily, sitting down next to Charlie on the piano chair.

Charlie laughs at the praise and leans back with a sigh of contentment. “I can’t lie… it’s amazing to be back in the studio. I’ve felt starved of music, _making_ music.” she says with a nostalgic smile. “And playing on a good piano.” she says with a laugh as she grazes the piano keys with the tip of her fingers.

Alice smiles at her. “I know the feeling. I was down with the flu once— couldn’t do shit. I was out for a whole month… cancelled gigs, couldn’t work on the album. Awful.” she says. “So… Xander tells me you’re moving in?” Alice asks.

Charlie nods and her hands get sweaty as she becomes increasingly more nervous. _What if she thinks I’m using him for money?_ , she wonders fearfully. It’s always what she gets most anxious about. “Yeah, I am. I don’t have a lot of stuff, mostly mugs.” she says with a shrug and Alice laughs. “All my shit fit in one suitcase so it was really easy to move.” she says, almost in a whisper. She’s ashamed of how little she owns. She thinks it’s downright embarrassing. “But the piano took a while to move.” she adds in a desperate attempt to make herself feel better about it all.

“That’s awesome. You make him _really_ happy… like, for as long as I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him like this.” she says with a smile. “Are you going to the gala tonight?”

Charlie gives a noncommittal noise. “Eh,” she says. “Xander wants me to go but it’s not really my scene.” she says. She’s trying to play it off but she knows a tiny bit of insecurity sneaks into her tone.

“ _Come on_ , you should come! It’ll be fun.” Alice says with a pout. Charlie gives her a look and she cracks into a smile. “Okay, it won’t. But you’ll help make it more bearable.” she says. “Besides, Sam’s coming.” she says.

Charlie raises her brow and Alice blushes, though her expression doesn’t waver. “What’s going on between you and Sam?” she asks.

Alice clears her throat. “We’ve just been on a couple dates, you know, out of the public eye. I like him.” she says, biting her lower lip in a lovestruck smile.

“I can’t believe this.” Charlie says with an amused laugh. “You don’t understand… he was like _in love_ with you. I thought celebrities didn’t like dating fans?” she asks cheekily. Alice blushes a darker shade of red.

“I mean, normally, no, but… he’s so cute. And he’s so sweet.” she gushes. “And he has the most beautiful eyes. God, and he’s so caring, you know? Like he takes time out of his day to check up on me even when he’s so fucking busy. You know?” she asks with bright eyes. “I mean, of course, you know. You’re his sister.” she says with a blush.

Charlie snorts. “He’s never been that nice to me.” she says. “But he really is a great guy. A lot of girls don’t like his job, so…” she says. “They don’t get he’s just trying to pay for school.”

“I get it. I came from nothing, you know? Most of my family are high school dropouts, living on coupons and all that. I was singing on the street for some cash and that’s when my manager discovered me. Pure dumb luck; right place, right time.” Alice says with a scoff. “But yeah. I get it. You gotta do what you gotta do to make ends meet.”

A beat.

“I don’t even have a dress.” Charlie says with a sigh.

“Are you sure about that?” Alice asks with a raised brow and a knowing smile.

When Charlie gets home from the studio, much earlier than usual as Alice has to get ready for the Met Gala, she sees Xander sat in the living room in a gorgeous suit, one girl doing his hair and one guy doing his makeup. He smiles when the door opens, whipping his head to face her despite the protest of the girl.

“Baby!” he exclaims. “How was the studio?” he asks.

“It was good, we finished recording two songs.” she says, putting her bag down on the nearby table. “You look handsome.” she says, leaning forward and kissing him quickly so that his team can go back to work.

“Thank you.” he says with a twinkle in his eyes. “I know you said you didn’t want to come but I got you a dress anyway just in case you changed your mind.” he says, voice filled with hope. She sighs, shaking her head.

“Xander, I told you. You don’t need to buy me things.” she whispers, almost insecurely. She’s getting good money from her job with Alice now, more money she’s ever earned in her life, but it’s still nothing compared to his. Although he wants to spoil her, she still feels guilty about it. Especially now that she actually has some money to her name.

“I know.” he says simply. “It’s on the bed.”

She grumbles and drags her feet to the bedroom. Just like he said, there’s a gorgeous golden dress laid down, sparkling in the light. The gold matches the lapels of Xander’s suit to a T. It almost knocks the breath out of her. She picks it up slowly and isn’t surprised to discover that it’s pretty heavy, with all the intricate beading details and the neckline lined with diamonds.

She tries to check for a price tag or even the brand’s label but he’s taken it all out knowing she’s gonna go snooping. Sighing, she strips out of her sweats and hoodie. She figures it can’t be that bad. Xander will be there to guide her through it, Sam will keep her entertained, Alice will make her less nervous. It’ll be fine.

She zips the dress up and is surprised that it fits her perfectly, hugging her curves and highlighting her assets. Yet she still grimaces at the mirror, wishing her legs weren’t so stick thin. She’s about to step out when she notices a pair of shoes she’s never seen before— nude high heels with straps that go four inches above her ankle with pearls lining the straps. Guiltily, she takes off her socks and puts the heels on. Of course, it matched the dress immaculately.

She steps out and Xander’s jaw drops. “It fits.” she says nervously. He gets up off his chair and walks towards her with open arms, a stunned expression still on his face. “Thank you. You really didn’t have to do this.” she whispers.

“I wanted to.” he says. “You’re so fucking beautiful. I’m gonna have the most gorgeous date.” he says, hugging her tight and kissing the top of her head.

She giggles. “No, I will.” she says smugly, kissing the tip of his nose.

“C’mon, beauty.” a voice calls behind them. She peeks out from behind Xander and sees the hair girl and the makeup guy waiting for her patiently by the chair. She sighs and starts walking towards them.

“Lisa and Ruiz, right?” she asks as she sits. “Xander told me about you guys.” she says, answering their incoming question by the looks of their pleasantly surprised faces.

“Aw, Alex! Aren’t you sweet?” Ruiz asks Xander with a wink. He blushes slightly and busies himself by heading to the kitchen as they begin working on her.

As it turns out, paparazzi are much worse up close.

He keeps a steady hand on the small of her back, leading her past the screaming fans outside the Met and past security. “Alex McDonough,” he tells the man easily and they’re let through just like that. Then, she’s faced by flashing lights. There are celebrities everywhere on the beige carpet that goes up the stairs, being interviewed and smiling perfectly for the cameras.

“Xander…” she says unsurely.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here, yeah?” he reassures. She feels slightly calmer when he squeezes her hand and kisses her forehead gently but feels worse when a thousand flashes surround their little moment.

She grits her teeth and bears it as he guides her from spot to spot, smiling at the cameras. She stays tucked into his arm shyly, sometimes looking at the camera but mostly keeping her eyes wandering awkwardly. When he needs to take solo shots, she stands to the side, twiddling her thumbs and looking around at all the biggest names in Hollywood pass by and greet each other. She watches them greet Xander enthusiastically like they’re old friends even though she knows he’s never mentioned them before and he responds like they’re absolutely best friends, being unbelievably charming and approachable, the face of a likeable guy. Then, as soon as she can, she’ll attach herself back to Xander’s side and he’ll grip her waist to comfort her. It works.

“You’re doing great, kitten.” he whispers in her ear and she smiles despite herself, smiling even wider when he kisses her cheek. “Thank you so much for coming with me.” he whispers before pulling away.

“Alex McDonough, Liza from Vogue!” a lady holding a microphone in front of a camera says happily. He smiles as they approach her, helping Charlie up the stairs in her very high heels.

“Hi, good to see you again.” he says politely. Charlie stays slightly behind him but keeps physical contact with him at all times.

“You look stunning tonight, as always.” she says and Xander smiles and nods. Charlie noticed that being a celebrity is a lot of just smiling and nodding. “Three years ago, you wore Comme des Garçons, then Gucci, and last year, Atelier Versace. Tell us about your look tonight.” she prompts.

“Oh, well, tonight I’m wearing Givenchy. It’s a stunning suit and I can’t believe I keep getting invited back. It’s amazing.” he says charmingly. Charlie also noticed that he tends to keep his answers short and to the point. He had mentioned once to her that it’s because his publicist told him it’s not in his branding to be flustered or rambling or goofily tripping over his words— he went through extensive media training sessions on how to talk this way for interviews.

“Yes! You’re no rookie here.” she says and he laughs humbly and in good nature. Charlie knows it’s his press laugh, not his real one. Though she isn’t sure if it’s fake or not as he’s polished it so perfectly that she can’t tell the difference. “What can we expect from your fourth Met tonight?” she asks.

“Well, the Met is always changing, so it’s all going to be a big surprise.” he says.

“For sure! But this Met is a bit different because it’s your date’s first Met!” she exclaims and Xander nods. “Charlotte Laurent, you look stunning.” she says earnestly towards Charlie. She smiles shyly, not used to the attention or being called by her full name. She almost feels like she’s getting in trouble as the only time she hears that name is when her parents are mad at her.

“Thank you.” she says with a sweet smile, hand gripping onto Xander’s tighter. He squeezes it and kisses her temple, Liza swooning loudly.

“She’s the most gorgeous girl here tonight.” he says, effectively taking the attention away from Charlie. “Like, without a doubt.” he says.

“You guys are too sweet.” she gushes.

“Thank you, thank you.” he says as he notices the guard calling them up to keep it moving. “It was great seeing you.” he says, saying his goodbyes with his signature smile and leads Charlie up the stairs. In the background, Charlie can vaguely hear the girl freaking out to the camera and she smiles at how sweet it all is. She quite likes that interviewer— they’re not all that nice or genuine.

He kisses her quickly. “You’re amazing.” he reassures once more. “It’s done, now, yeah? See? All done with the press.” he whispers and she smiles, stealing another quick kiss. They’re lead to their table and she breathes out a sigh of relief when she sees Sam and Alice already sat down next to their assigned seats. She quickly sits next to her brother and launches into a hug.

He laughs and hugs her back, letting go of Alice’s hand from under the table. “How was it?” he asks her.

She just grimaces. “Gross.” she says.

“ _Tu le fais bien_ , Charles.” he says fondly.

She sticks her tongue out at him and waves to Alice, who waves back despite already being in conversation with Xander. “Nice suit.” she compliments and he shrugs.

“It’s Balmain.” he says and she doesn’t know what that is so she just does the typical Xander technique and nods with a smile.

It’s not long until their table is completely filled, and the last person to sit is a gorgeous girl wearing a flowing pearlescent dress. Xander stiffens next to her so she immediately holds his hand. She knows who this girl is, saw all the photos online. Serena Rose.

Of _fucking_ course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tu le fais bien.] = You're doing great.


	13. thirteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2,220

Of all the people sat at their table, it had to be Xander’s ex-girlfriend. She looks like she came alone and Xander knows it means that she’s probably looking for someone to bring home at the event. Her lingering gaze on him makes him shift uncomfortably.

She greets the people around her with a smile and a laugh before taking her seat across the table from them. Alice shoots Xander a concerned look but he doesn’t see it. “You’re okay.” she tells him quietly with a smile.

He smiles at her appreciatively, kissing her knuckles entwined with his own hand. “You look great, Xander.” she says from across the table, obviously pushing her breasts out. An awkward tension sets itself onto the table. Everyone knows that they dated, they were on every headline of every tabloid for months. Of course, everyone also knows that he’s dating someone else now; the very same girl next to him, the very same girl Serena is pretending isn’t there.

“Thanks, Serena.” he says, voice tight and strained, trying his best to stay neutrally polite although he just comes across as annoyed. He leaves it at that, doesn’t return the compliment and instead chooses to turn his attention back to Charlie.

She stills feels like a fish out of water, completely out of her element and feeling like she sticks out like a sore thumb with her lack of charisma that everyone else seems to have (famous people aura, as she’s dubbed it) and the fact that she doesn’t know anybody whereas everyone else seems like they’re all one big friend group with inside jokes and banter, but _this_ definitely feels familiar. This petty behaviour and awkward tension is very high school.

“Babe, be nice.” Charlie says. Xander sighs and turns back to Serena.

“You look good, too.” he says, sounding a tiny bit more genuine. Tiny.

He turns back to Charlie and she smiles at him, giving him a quick kiss that he tries to deepen but she just pulls away with a laugh, jokingly swatting him away. He kisses her exposed shoulder before making conversation with the guy next to him.

It wasn’t long until the waiters came out with trays of food on their hands, moving in perfect synchronisation, not unlike a dance. Charlie can’t believe the amount of work and detail put into this gala but it was all hard to appreciate when she could feel Serena staring daggers through her head.

“She’s staring…” Charlie mumbles as the salad dishes are placed down. She grabs a random fork and pierces the lettuce but can’t help but feel Serena’s eyes searing into her.

“Just ignore her.” Xander says, placing a hand on her thigh and rubbing soothing circles.

“Actually, _Charlotte_ ,” Serena starts, spitting out her name like it’s dirt on her tongue but still maintaining her sickly sweet smile. “That’s your dinner fork, not your salad fork.” she says, biting into her lettuce as if to emphasise her point with the loud crunch.

“What’s… the difference?” Charlie asks, looking at the identical forks in front of her. Her head hurts and she doesn’t understand why rich people need so many silverware. _Why can’t they just have one fork and one knife and call it a day?_ , she thinks.

Xander sighs and leans by her ear. “You can use any fork you want, babe.” he tells her. She nods slowly but still blushes brightly from embarrassment. She figures it’s more shameful to switch forks now so she just keeps eating on, feeling like she’s being judged by all the celebrities around her. Xander, noticing her, drops his salad fork and picks up his dinner fork instead. He smiles at her and kisses her cheek before digging into his food using the wrong silverware.

Charlie smiles instantly, the dreadful feeling dissipating as she continues to eat.

Serena looks like she’s trying really hard not to let her annoyance show as she snaps her head to face Sam, batting her fake eyelashes at him. The hand she’s resting her head on has long hot pink acrylic nails, pointed at the tip. “Chris Max, right?” she asks, exaggerating the x consonant between her teeth. Her perfect pearly whites bite into her plump and glossy bottom lip gently, eyes raking him up and down. Charlie suddenly remembers going to the zoo as a kid on a field trip and was taught the concept of predator and prey— how the lion would quietly stalk and assess the zebra before pouncing in for the kill.

“Um, just Sam is fine.” he says awkwardly, a tight smile on his lips.

“I’m a big fan of your work.” she says with a wink. He blinks at her twice.

“Oh. Thanks.” he says, shifting in his seat uncomfortably. Alice snakes her hand onto his thigh underneath the table, gripping it possessively although her face doesn’t show it. “I’m a fan of yours too.” he lies easily. Truthfully, he hasn’t seen a single movie she’s in but it seemed like the polite thing to say.

“Who isn’t?” she asks with an obnoxiously loud laugh and a hand on her chest. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding, of course.” she says, waving it off and flicking some hair behind her shoulder.

The rest of the meal is fairly uneventful and it flies by with pleasant small talk and cheery compliments such as “congratulations on your seventh Grammy!” and “you were robbed at the Globes— everyone knows you deserved it and it’s all politics!” and it all makes Charlie dizzy.

She sends a few texts to Tatiana, updating her on the drama and _yes, Chris Pratt really is that handsome in real life_ , when Xander wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer in. “Jeffrey’s asking me to appear in some photos.” he says into her ear. Charlie quickly learned that Xander’s publicist is always asking him to do some weird things that cause him to stay ‘relevant’— like talking to the celebrities that are particularly social media obsessed just so he’ll show up on their accounts. “Do you want to come with?” he asks.

Her initial thought is to say yes because she doesn’t want to be alone in this event, doesn’t want to leave his side. But she thinks about showing up on the Instagram accounts of people that have upwards of ten million followers, showing up on their public story and might even feature in a post— the attention that would bring to her and the potential hate of _you don’t belong with them_ and suddenly she doesn’t really mind spending half an hour alone.

“No, it’s okay. You go.” she says. His eyebrows furrow slightly in worry so she kisses it away. “I’ll be fine.”

He sighs. “Call me if you need me, okay?”

She nods and he kisses her once more before standing up from the table and disappearing into the glamorous crowd.

She huffs in boredom at the empty table. Tatiana hasn’t replied in ten minutes since her last _at the gym, text u later xx_ message, Sam’s off taking photos of Alice in front of the massive wall made entirely of fresh red roses, and Ollie replied to her onslaught of funny animal gifs with _im at work i cant talk rn but pls take photos of all the art ty !!_ , which, by the way, is not the appropriate response to one golden retriever hiding under another one and popping out from underneath in what is the most lovely surprise she’s ever seen, thank you very much.

She scrolls through her camera roll and stops at a particularly sweet video she took on the car ride to the venue. It shows the two of them holding a silly face before hers contorts to confusion and then an ‘ _oh shit it’s a video_ ’. They both laugh and he kisses her temple just before the video ends. She smiles at it and watches it one more time… then another two times after that.

“Cute,” a voice condescendingly ays behind her. She locks her phone defensively and whips around to be faced with Serena.

Charlie sighs and puts the phone down onto the table. “Thanks…” she says slowly and unsurely, ignoring her curt tone and lopsided sneer altogether.

“How long have you been seeing each other?” she asks, taking the seat where Xander was. Charlie can’t help but feel insecure as soon as she sees Serena’s bombshell body— tiny waist, large curves, flat stomach.

“About four months.” she says. It makes her stop and think for a second. Four months isn’t the longest time to be in a relationship, seems much to short for them to be living together, that’s for sure. But their relationship is anything but normal. When she still had her own apartment, she just kept having to commute to his because he couldn’t go to hers without getting spotted and it making the headlines. But it got expensive and she was spending most nights at his, plus she was three months behind on rent and her landlord was kicking her out anyway.

“And you already live together? Wow, you must be confident.” she says. When Charlie gives her a questioning look, she just giggles. “Saw it on Twitter, you guys moving boxes and whatnot. Cute. Domestic.” she says and her voice is edged sharp.

“Yeah,” Charlie says with a shrug.

“You know he asked me to move in too? About the same time, four months. Maybe three and a half.” she says. Charlie wishes a pit of disappointment didn’t boil in her stomach from her words… but it did. Serena can sense it like blood in the water and she smirks. “He does that. He’s a lonely guy, he likes company. Have you ever seen the headlines about him before me? New girl each week, anything to keep the bed warm. You’re just another one of those.” she says bluntly.

Charlie almost chokes on air. “You’re ridiculous.” she says, her voice much steadier than she feels.

Serena scoffs. “You’re the ridiculous one if you actually think you’re special to him. He’s _Alex McDonough_ and you’re a nobody. He finds it fun for now but the novelty will wear off. I just wouldn’t get comfortable if I were you.” she says and smirks to herself. “And thank god I’m not.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Charlie says, standing up and grabbing her phone. She can’t take listening to another word out of Serena’s lip fillered mouth. She weaves her way through the crowd, ducking and trying to make herself as small as possible to avoid attention at all costs.

Serena’s words weighed heavy in her mind and as much as she didn’t want to believe it, she couldn’t help but be affected by them. She’s never dealt with anything like this before, never had people try to bring her down so deliberately. Slowly, she begins to feel the breath leaving her lungs. She feels like she’s drowning and everyone around her is just laughing and drinking and taking selfies. Her hands shake and her breathing is becoming more and more laboured as she scans the crowd desperately for a familiar face.

She finally spots Xander talking to Kylie Jenner a few feet away between crossing waiters and tipsy celebrities. He’s laughing along to something she said, hand on the small of her back as she films their conversation on her phone that also somehow produces light from its case. Charlie doesn’t understand the purpose of it but she can’t bring herself to make fun of it because all she can think about is his hand right above her _large_ ass.

She feels drunk on wine she’s never had.

“Woah there, are you okay?” an unfamiliar voice asks as a hand stabilises her by her shoulders. She turns to face him sees a face she vaguely recognises through passing billboards and Tatiana’s man-crush-Mondays.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” she says curtly, trying to break free of his grip. He’s a little too close for comfort, though her brows furrow at the thought that he doesn’t seem to mind Kylie Jenner’s proximity. Not in the slightest.

“You sure? You look a bit… frazzled.” he says, voice laced with concern. She doesn’t think he should be so worried about someone he doesn’t even know. It’s a dangerous game.

“I’m not.” she says, straightening up.

“Zach Tylers.” he introduces, holding a hand out.

“Charlie.” she says back, turning away from him and walks towards Xander.

When she finally reaches him, she places a hand on his shoulder. He stops laughing along with Kylie Jenner to turn and face her. He smiles his _real smile_ and she can’t help but feel smug about it all.

“Hey baby, how you holding up?” he asks, placing a kiss on her nose.

“Not good… can we go home soon?” she asks quietly.

Instantly, his face morphs into a mix of confusion and worry. “Yeah, of course.” he says. He turns back to Kylie fucking Jenner, bids her goodbye with a parting polite kiss that only grazes her cheek, which, if you asked Charlie, she looked _much_ too pleased about.

He laces his hand in hers and they make their way to the exit, already calling Mark to pick them up at the main exit.


End file.
